Some think that people should not change their jobs while others think they should because it brings advantages for themselves, company and society. Discuss and give opinion

Whether
employees
should jump from
one
job
to another or they should work
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the same
position
throughout their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
has been a controversial topic. In my opinion,
while
changing
jobs
can be beneficial to a certain extent, being in a similar
position
is more advantageous to both the individual and the employer. On the
one
hand, career changes can benefit
employees
in many ways.
First,
job
hoppers can hone diverse skills and possess
an
Correct article usage
apply
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expansive knowledge spanning across different fields. As each
position
requires unique abilities, when switching
jobs
,
employees
can master a new skill, which can be of importance to positions that
entails
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entail
show examples
cross-department communication and cooperation.
Moreover
, individuals who change
jobs
often will be less likely to become jobless, as their diverse skill set can be applied
in
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to
show examples
any post.
For instance
, during the Covid-19 pandemic, people who had additional knowledge in a field different from their
job
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
find new positions once personnel reduction took place.
On the other hand
, advocates of working constantly in
one
post have firm grounds to argue that
this
trend has numerous positive effects. Concerning individuals, being loyal to a
position
means that their incentives are high, including seniority bonuses
as well as
labor
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labour
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insurance.
Whereas
Correct word choice
Job
show examples
job
hoppers can never expect
this
as their short-term work will always put their benefits at a new employee level. As for companies, having faithful
employees
can help them cut training costs and avoid problems that can arise from newcomers. When a new member joins the team, the company has to pay for their lack of efficiency and experience.
This
is not the case
of
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for
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longtime
employees
, whose incentives are only tools to motivate them to achieve greater success, not
a
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apply
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retribution on the company for their senior
employees
’ mistakes. In conclusion,
while
it is fair to argue that jumping between
jobs
can help individuals broaden their skill set, working in
one
position
constantly can have numerous positive effects on both the
employees
and the employers.
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coherence cohesion
Consider adding a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-related vocabulary to enhance the linkage between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical flow between main points by ensuring each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next with clear, purposeful topic sentences.
task achievement
Expand upon examples to further support your arguments, possibly with real-life cases or statistics that demonstrate the impacts of job-hopping versus career stability.
task achievement
Ensure a more thorough coverage of the essay topic by discussing the societal impact of job stability or mobility, since this aspect is mentioned in the prompt but not sufficiently covered in the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job mobility
  • career progression
  • professional development
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • networking
  • employee turnover
  • workforce allocation
  • job satisfaction
  • skillset diversification
  • stability
  • loyalty
  • job market
  • stagnancy
  • continuous learning
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