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Writing Samples
Band 7

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.

The given pie charts illustrate the average spending on housing, transport, food, health care and other goods and services in Japan and Malaysia in 2010.
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The pie charts depict the average
expenses
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 in five different categories and different
colors
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colours
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such
Linking Words
 as household, transport, food,
health
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care
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, and other products and
services
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 between two countries
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 in 2010. The information on charts is calibrated in terms of percentage.
Overall
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, it can be seen that the highest
expenses
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 of
Japan
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 were other goods and
services
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
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 was housing.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the lowest
expenses
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 of
Japan
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 and
Malaysia
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 were
health
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care
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. When comparing the charts it can be explained that
Japan
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 expense more on transport and
Health
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care
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 than
Malaysia
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. From the
Japan
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 chart it is apparent that
firstly
Linking Words
, other goods and
services
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 of
japan
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 is 29%. Followed by, food is 24%.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, 21% by housing
Lastly
Linking Words
,6% by
health
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care
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
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 showed maximum
expenses
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 by 34% in housing. Followed by 27% of food.
Thirdly
Linking Words
 26% by other goods and
services
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
,3% by
health
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care
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly, thirdly".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenses, health, care, services, japan, malaysia with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average spending
  • housing expenditures
  • transport costs
  • consumption habits
  • health care budget
  • goods and services
  • economic factors
  • cultural influences
  • urban vs rural spending
  • disposable income
  • financial priorities
  • significant discrepancies
  • budget allocation
  • grocery bills
  • comparative analysis
  • fiscal management
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