Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Presently artists earn more
money
Use synonyms
than politicians. Perhaps, many people think that they frequently purchase
an expensive goods
Correct the article-noun agreement
expensive goods
an expensive good
show examples
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because
celebrities
Use synonyms
are not a fixed
job
Use synonyms
and actually
celebrities
Use synonyms
troublesome obtain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work.
This
Linking Words
essay will elaborate in detail on the reasons for my stance
as well as
Linking Words
examples in the subsequent paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the primary reason is that
politics
Use synonyms
is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
inveriable
Correct your spelling
invariable
work than
Use synonyms
artist
Add an article
the artist
an artist
show examples
is not a steady
job
Use synonyms
. Work in
politics
Use synonyms
does not depend on having a
job
Use synonyms
or
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
because politicians
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
already
acquire
Change the verb form
acquired
show examples
responsibility in government throughout
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the several time.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a celebrity only
possesses
Correct subject-verb agreement
possess
show examples
money
Use synonyms
if they procure
calling
Verb problem
apply
show examples
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
employment, and if they do not get a
job
Use synonyms
, they do not have
money
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in ministry, even though their works only meet with others, they still gain a similar salary.
Secondly
Linking Words
, another reason is that
Use synonyms
job
Correct article usage
the job
show examples
as
a
Change the article
an
show examples
artist
Use synonyms
is arduous
gotten
Verb problem
apply
show examples
. Currently, many artists move to
politics
Use synonyms
because they have been difficult to procure a
job
Use synonyms
in their environment.
For example
Linking Words
, one of
Indonesian
Add an article
the Indonesian
show examples
celebrities
Use synonyms
is called Venna Melinda. She has been around 10 years in the world of
politics
Use synonyms
because she
feel
Change the verb form
feels
show examples
that the world of
politics
Use synonyms
is more promising than as an
artist
Use synonyms
, and she has not
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
acquired some jobs in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the celebrities
show examples
celebrities
Change the noun form
celebrity
show examples
world.
To sum up
Linking Words
, working as an
artist
Use synonyms
is not
also
Linking Words
getting earn a lot of
money
Use synonyms
because that
job
Use synonyms
is not a fixed
job
Use synonyms
and working as a celebrity is not easy to
be obtained
Wrong verb form
obtain
show examples
. Thereby, nowadays a majority of
celebrities
Use synonyms
moves
Correct subject-verb agreement
move
show examples
as
a politicians
Correct the article-noun agreement
a politician
politicians
show examples
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction stating your thesis, body paragraphs each focusing on a single idea, and a conclusion that restates your main points and thesis.
coherence
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the supporting sentences are directly relevant to the main idea of the paragraph.
cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.
task response
Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the question. Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.
language
Work on grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction to express your ideas more clearly and accurately.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: