Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this?. Do you agree or disagree

#celebrities #money #politicians

Presently artists earn more

money

than politicians. Perhaps, many people think that they frequently purchase

an expensive goods

Correct the article-noun agreement

expensive goods

an expensive good

show examples

however

Add a comma

however,

show examples

I totally disagree with

this

opinion because

celebrities

are not a fixed

job

and actually

celebrities

troublesome obtain

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

work.

This

essay will elaborate in detail on the reasons for my stance

as well as

examples in the subsequent paragraph.

To begin

with, the primary reason is that

politics

Change the article

show examples

inveriable

Correct your spelling

invariable

work than

artist

Add an article

the artist

an artist

show examples

is not a steady

job

. Work in

politics

does not depend on having a

job

Correct your spelling

not

show examples

because politicians

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

already

acquire

Change the verb form

acquired

show examples

responsibility in government throughout

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the several time.

In contrast

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a celebrity only

possesses

Correct subject-verb agreement

possess

show examples

money

if they procure

calling

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

employment, and if they do not get a

job

, they do not have

money

For instance

, in ministry, even though their works only meet with others, they still gain a similar salary.

Secondly

, another reason is that

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

Change the article

show examples

artist

is arduous

gotten

Verb problem

apply

show examples

. Currently, many artists move to

politics

because they have been difficult to procure a

job

in their environment.

For example

, one of

Indonesian

Add an article

the Indonesian

show examples

celebrities

is called Venna Melinda. She has been around 10 years in the world of

politics

because she

feel

Change the verb form

feels

show examples

that the world of

politics

is more promising than as an

artist

, and she has not

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

acquired some jobs in

Correct article usage

the celebrities

show examples

celebrities

Change the noun form

celebrity

show examples

world.

To sum up

, working as an

artist

is not

also

getting earn a lot of

money

because that

job

is not a fixed

job

and working as a celebrity is not easy to

be obtained

Wrong verb form

obtain

show examples

. Thereby, nowadays a majority of

celebrities

moves

Correct subject-verb agreement

move

show examples

a politicians

Correct the article-noun agreement

a politician

politicians

show examples

Submitted by fifi on Wed Jan 31 2024

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structure

Try to structure your essay with a clear introduction stating your thesis, body paragraphs each focusing on a single idea, and a conclusion that restates your main points and thesis.

coherence

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, and the supporting sentences are directly relevant to the main idea of the paragraph.

cohesion

Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs for better flow.

task response

Ensure you fully respond to all parts of the question. Develop your main points with more detailed explanations and relevant examples.

language

Work on grammar, vocabulary, and sentence construction to express your ideas more clearly and accurately.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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