IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Queen Mary Hospital The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

Queen Mary Hospital The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at Queen Mary Hospital since its construction in 1960. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#queen #mary #diagrams #show #changes #place #construction #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The picture denotes the changes that have taken location at Queen Mary Hospital
its
Change preposition
in its
show examples
 construction in 1960, 1980 and 2000.
According to
 the data, there were
deletion
Fix the agreement mistake
deletions
show examples
 and
addition
Fix the agreement mistake
additions
show examples
several
Change preposition
in several
show examples
 places in every period.
Additionally
, there was movement of several
buildings
 in 1980 and 2000. In 1960, there were Shopping Centre and Farmland, but in 1980 and 200, the Shopping Centre and Farmland are deleted.
Whereas
, there were
addition
Replace the word
additional
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
buildings
 in 1980 and 2000 that were Pharmacy and Nursing School where those
buildings
 did not exist in 1960. There were several movements
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
buildings
 in 1980 and 2000. A Cancer Centre in 1980 only had a small place, but in 2000,
this
 building was more enormous than
foregoing
Correct word choice
the previous
show examples
 year.
While
, Nursing
School
Fix the agreement mistake
Schools
show examples
 and Car Park were smaller than in 1980, and Hospital and Pharmacy had a similar size in 1980 and 2000.
In addition
, the
located
Replace the word
location
show examples
 of the main road was fixed in the North of the
buildings
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1960 until 2000.
Submitted by fifi on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words buildings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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