IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many local languages are dying out due to the rise of languages like English. Is this a positive or negative development?

#languages #rise #english #development
In
this
 fast-paced era, the English language spread to the world, and
this
 development caused the extinction of the mother tongue. I firmly believe it is a negative development First and foremost,
languages
 are the face of history.
Therefore
, local
languages
 are our tools to preserve the social norms and literature of older societies.
Thus
, failing to protect local
languages
 causes the loss of great works. Suppose adults imitate foreign countries' cultures and
languages
.
As a result
, they become not aware of their history.
Moreover
, if people diminish their mother tongue, there will be no sense of pride in international meetings and competition. It is like a child without his parents and depending on others' actions.
Furthermore
, I firmly believe
this
 trend and speaking English harms the relationship between older people and younger generations.
For example
, some of our grandparents without academic education can not learn new strange words, and
as a result
 of
this
, they become more alone than in the past
To sum up
, learning and speaking new
languages
 is the key to having a business.
On the other hand
, it has some negative results,
such
 as losing heritage and isolation of elderly
Submitted by akbarturdiyev06 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
There is a reasonable structure to the essay, including an introduction and conclusion, which enhances its readability. However, to improve coherence, transitions between ideas should be smoother and more varied to guide the reader seamlessly from one thought to another.
coherence cohesion
Main points are present, but they could be developed further with more detailed explanations and exploration. It's important to extend arguments with evidence or data where possible to fully support your opinion.
task achievement
While the prompt is generally addressed, stronger task achievement would involve a more nuanced discussion of the subject. Consider presenting both sides of the argument more fully before concluding to demonstrate an ability to think critically about the issue.
task achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples that directly relate to the points being made. The use of relevant and detailed examples will make your essay more convincing and provide clear evidence for your claims.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: