The use of personal cars has increased more than ever before but this use of cars causes many problems. What are those problems? To reduce these problems, should we discourage people to use cars? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
recent
days
Add a comma
days,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase In the recent days. Consider adding a comma.

show examples
the usage of private vehicles has risen by a great number compared to the use in previous years but
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has led to many troubles. One of the major
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier One of, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

show examples
that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

has caused is traffic
congetion
Correct your spelling
congestion

If you don’t want congetion to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

on the highways and the solution to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

issue is constructing more roads rather than discouraging car owners from using them. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay, I am going to elaborate more on the issues identified and the solutions to them. To commence with, as years have gone by most people now own cars and prefer using them for movement from one place to another since they are much quicker in comparison to the use of public means of transport.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in turn has made people get late to their place of work
as a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

of traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams

It seems that jam may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in cities where residents have to board vehicles to reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply

The preposition at seems unecessary after the verb reach. Consider removing the preposition.

show examples
work, they have to spend several hours to get there and
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a consequence of countless vehicles on the road. To curb
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

troublesome difficulty, it is wise for the government to consider building up new roadways
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order

The word inorder doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
to accommodate the population at large.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

challenge can be solved
at
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
a greater extent if those in power act swiftly and it can be acted upon only if citizens push for it because
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is a mess that has
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred

If you don’t want occured to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

for several years and the leaders have just remained silent. In conclusion, discouraging a person from what he/she is used to can never be the solution since people have to move from
a
Correct determiner usage
one

It seems that determiner use may be incorrect here.

show examples
point to the next.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, other effective ways
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
construction
Add an article
the construction

The noun phrase construction seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
of new highways can be helpful for use by the plenty owned cars.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
The essay should have a clear structure, with distinct and well-developed paragraphs including an introduction, at least two main body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Always ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and subsequent sentences that support it.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction should clearly address the question, and the conclusion should summarise the main points without introducing new ideas. Be sure that both the introduction and conclusion are present and serving their respective purposes in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Main points in the body paragraphs need to be expanded with more specific detail and clear explanations showing how they relate to the question. Examples should be relevant and illustrate the point convincingly.
Task Achievement
Stay on topic and ensure that each paragraph contributes to answering the question. Include reasons and examples where appropriate to fully respond to all parts of the task.
Task Achievement
Develop ideas comprehensively by explaining the consequences and implications of the problems mentioned, as well as evaluating the solutions proposed. More clarity is required to effectively convey the message.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to clearly express your ideas. Also, the essay would benefit from proofreading to correct grammatical mistakes and ensure clarity in expression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Traffic congestion
  • Emissions
  • Urban sprawl
  • Public transportation
  • Carbon footprint
  • Non-renewable resources
  • Eco-friendly
  • Sustainable
  • Telecommuting
  • Electric vehicles
  • Infrastructure
  • Cycling lanes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: