IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

The plans below show the layout of a university’s sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment

#plans #show #layout #university’s #sports #centre #redevelopment
The pictures give
informations
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information
pieces of information
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 about the changes
of
Change preposition
in
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 the university’s
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 layout before and after redevelopment.
Overall
, it can be seen that the size of the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
 will be extended
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
by repurposing the outdoor
courts
 beside the existing complex. The 25m pool in the
centre
 of
arena
Add an article
the arena
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 will not be changed
along with
 the entrance
area
, reception, changing room, and seating
area
.
Gym
Correct article usage
The gym
show examples
area
 will be extended to the east. Outdoor
courts
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of
existing
Correct article usage
the existing
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
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 will be redeveloped into several new facilities.
At
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In
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 the
far east
Correct your spelling
Far East
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, two dance
studio
Fix the agreement mistake
studios
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 will be built.
Next,
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 changing room will be constructed
along with
 the cafe in the
south east
Correct your spelling
southeast
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area
.
Then
Correct article usage
a sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 hall will be built to replace the outdoor
courts
.
Furthermore
, outdoor
courts
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the west side of the current
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
.
New
Correct article usage
A new
show examples
 leisure pool will be constructed.
In addition
,
additional
Correct article usage
an additional
show examples
 changing room and sports shop will be built on the
south west
Correct your spelling
southwest
show examples
 side of the
area
.
Submitted by periset on

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coherence cohesion
The essay needs a coherent introduction and conclusion. Start by paraphrasing the task prompt and end with a summary of the main points.
coherence cohesion
Organise the essay into clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea with supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as 'however,' 'furthermore,' and 'in addition') to link ideas within and across paragraphs effectively.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that describes what the paragraph will discuss.
task achievement
Develop the main points by providing more detailed comparisons of the before and after redevelopment instead of listing the changes.
task achievement
Use specific examples or data when explaining the changes, to provide a clearer picture of the redevelopment.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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