News plays an important part of most people´s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?
Nowadays,
news
have
a significant part of most Verb problem
is
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individuals'
individual's
individuals
lives, so the Change noun form
individuals'
news
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is
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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on
in
Change preposition
on
tv
, papers, magazines , Correct your spelling
TV
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the internet
internet
or Correct article usage
the internet
socialmedia
Correct your spelling
social media
Change preposition
at
in
every moment, in every city and country.
The Change preposition
at
news
are
relevant to Change the verb form
is
people
,
because can know what Remove the comma
apply
are
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is
happen
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happening
in
the moment with different topics around the Change the preposition
at
world
in areas as
crime, drugs, sports, economics, politics, accidents, Correct quantifier usage
such as
sociallife
, etc. Correct your spelling
social life
Furthermore
, the news
gift information
about the real situation in a special momentAdd the comma(s)
, for instance,
for instance
the
accident Correct article usage
an
in
a bus Change preposition
on
in
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on
the
route, so Correct article usage
apply
the
society Correct article usage
apply
want
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wants
know
what Fix the infinitive
to know
are happen
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happened
with
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in
this
accident, and
who are the Correct word choice
apply
people
inside in
the bus, and if we do not have the Change preposition
apply
information
, the people
can feel ansious
because can think that some relatives are inside the bus.
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anxious
On the other hand
, bad news
have
a lot of publications around the Change the verb form
has
world
, specially
with crimes or accidents, so Replace the word
especially
the
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apply
people
have the tendence
to see Correct your spelling
tendency
this
news
and write about that in special on internet
, and Correct article usage
the internet
some times
the consequences are bad Correct your spelling
sometimes
to
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for
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, I do not why to people
like see this
bad news
around the world
, but the
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apply
Tv
programs have a big audience that Correct your spelling
TV
people
like to see this
programs, for example
, the tv
shows that talk about crimes have millions of Correct your spelling
TV
people
that enjoy this
Tv
show.
Correct your spelling
TV
The society
, Correct article usage
Society
need
to live in a Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
world
with
peace, and for Change preposition
of
that
it is important the Add a comma
that,
news
, and for that is
important the
good Correct article usage
apply
information
with more topics about education, health and economics, while
always the news
have
the freedom to Change the verb form
has
sowh
everything but with more focus Correct your spelling
sow
show
in
good Change preposition
on
news
, for intance
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instance
a
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news
a piece of news
news
about the result of students that study a career for be a teacher of languague
in a local school in a rural area.
In conclusion, it is essential the Correct your spelling
language
news
for the earth, but the news
need
to show more good Change the verb form
needs
news
with a relevant
Remove the article
relevant information
a piece of relevant information
information
about what are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
happen
around the Change the form of the verb
happening
world
.Submitted by niconoman on
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coherence cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, which aligns with the requirements, your essay requires a clearer and more logical structure. Organize your ideas more clearly into paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph has a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples. While you touched on several relevant areas, providing more specific examples or case studies could improve the effectiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have made an attempt to explain why news is important to people, why there is a focus on bad news, and argued that there should be more good news. However, developing your ideas further and illustrating them with clear examples would improve the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and development of your ideas. It's important that your essay contains comprehensive ideas that are explained sufficiently. Look to deepen the analysis of each point made and avoid general statements that aren't focused on the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve your writing, use a variety of sentence structures, and pay attention to grammatical accuracy to enhance the readability and professional feel of the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.