News plays an important part of most people´s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

Nowadays,
news
have
Verb problem
is
show examples
a significant part of most
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
show examples
lives, so the
news
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
Change preposition
on
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
, papers, magazines ,
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
or
socialmedia
Correct your spelling
social media
Change preposition
at
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
every moment, in every city and country. The
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
relevant to
people
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because can know what
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
happen
Change the form of the verb
happening
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
the moment with different topics around the
world
in areas
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
crime, drugs, sports, economics, politics, accidents,
sociallife
Correct your spelling
social life
, etc.
Furthermore
, the
news
gift
information
about the real situation in a special moment
Add the comma(s)
, for instance,
show examples
for instance
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
accident
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a bus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
route, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
know
Fix the infinitive
to know
show examples
what
are happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
accident,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
who are the
people
inside
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the bus, and if we do not have the
information
, the
people
can feel
ansious
Correct your spelling
anxious
because can think that some relatives are inside the bus.
On the other hand
, bad
news
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a lot of publications around the
world
,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
with crimes or accidents, so
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
have the
tendence
Correct your spelling
tendency
to see
this
news
and write about that in special on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, and
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
show examples
the consequences are bad
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Moreover
, I do not why to
people
like see
this
bad
news
around the
world
, but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
programs have a big audience that
people
like to see
this
programs,
for example
, the
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
shows that talk about crimes have millions of
people
that enjoy
this
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
show.
The society
Correct article usage
Society
show examples
,
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to live in a
world
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
peace, and for
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
it is important the
news
, and for
that is
important
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
information
with more topics about education, health and economics,
while
always the
news
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the freedom to
sowh
Correct your spelling
sow
show
everything but with more focus
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
good
news
, for
intance
Correct your spelling
instance
a
Remove the article
news
a piece of news
show examples
news
about the result of students that study a career for be a teacher of
languague
Correct your spelling
language
in a local school in a rural area. In conclusion, it is essential the
news
for the earth, but the
news
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
to show more good
news
with
a relevant
Remove the article
relevant information
a piece of relevant information
show examples
information
about what
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
happen
Change the form of the verb
happening
show examples
around the
world
.
Submitted by niconoman on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, which aligns with the requirements, your essay requires a clearer and more logical structure. Organize your ideas more clearly into paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph. Make sure each paragraph has a logical sequence.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples. While you touched on several relevant areas, providing more specific examples or case studies could improve the effectiveness of your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task. You have made an attempt to explain why news is important to people, why there is a focus on bad news, and argued that there should be more good news. However, developing your ideas further and illustrating them with clear examples would improve the completeness of your response.
task achievement
Strive for clarity and development of your ideas. It's important that your essay contains comprehensive ideas that are explained sufficiently. Look to deepen the analysis of each point made and avoid general statements that aren't focused on the essay topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve your writing, use a variety of sentence structures, and pay attention to grammatical accuracy to enhance the readability and professional feel of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!