IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is an undeniable fact that environmental issues are increasing day by day. Which is not suitable for our life or ecosystem.It is often argued by some people that the main environmental cause of our time is the
loss
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 of particular species and
plants
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.Meanwhile,others still claim that there are more environmental problems.
This
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 essay will explore both sides of the argument before discussing a logical opinion. On the one hand,the supporters of the idea believe that the finish rate of species of
plants
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 and
animals
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 is the main issue for the
environment
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.
This
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 idea is correct but in the boundary.
For example
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, there are some
animals
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 who take care of fields in that case they eat some insects which are not suitable for crops.
While
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 the
plants
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 produce oxygen which affects the
environment
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 in a good sense. If those will finish completely in future it badly
effects
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affects
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 on the
environment
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.
Thus
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,
this
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 factor clearly expresses the one side of the argument.
While
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on the other hand
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,the advocates of the view they believe that there are more important environmental issues.
For instance
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, in recent decades there has been a rapid growth in population. In that case the agricultural land use for living purposes and the natural beauty decrease.
In addition
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, the gas
that is
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 produced in the factory
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also
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is also
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 harmful to the
environment
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. They produce the greenhouse effect which damages the atmospheric layers.If it continues the layers will damage in more than two decades. As far as my opinion is concerned, I believe that the
loss
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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 is a major problem because we can control the population or greenhouse effect but we cannot control the
loss
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 of species.
That is
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 why I am in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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favor of the first point of view.
To conclude
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,
although
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 people have different opinions regarding the above given statements I favour the
loss
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 of
plants
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 and
animals
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 .

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear and directly address the task. The introduction should include a thesis statement, and the conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Examples should be relevant and fully elaborated to clearly show how they support your argument.
task achievement
Complete the task by addressing all parts of the prompt thoroughly. Offer a balanced discussion of both views presented in the question before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Present ideas clearly and comprehensively. Each paragraph should present a single clear idea with explanations and examples relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Use of specific examples is crucial to substantiate your arguments. Incorporate relevant examples to back up your points, and ensure they are explained in detail to illustrate how they are related to the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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