Government investment in the arts, such as music and theater, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Funds should
be invest
Change the verb form
be investing
be invested
show examples
in
education
, health
care
and some other services
instead
of arts like music and
theater
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theatre
show examples
, so that, poor people can survive in
this
world. Personally, I agree with
this
idea and in
following
Change the article
the following
show examples
essay I will explain my views. To commence with the first
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
, nowadays
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
of children are unable to get
education
Add an article
an education
show examples
,
hence
they are doing work under some company to earn some amount of money
,
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apply
show examples
so that they can live in
this
world,
that is
why, I think
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
have to spend
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
small part of the country taxes on the
education
system
.
Therefore
, every single
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
can go
school
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to school
show examples
and
enhances
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enhance
show examples
their
knowlegde
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
Besides
this
, the health
care
system
is
also
so expensive in
todays
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today's
show examples
time,
number
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a number
the number
show examples
of people are
died
Wrong verb form
dying
show examples
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
disease
Add an article
the disease
a disease
show examples
as they cannot get
peoper
Correct your spelling
proper
treatment from
hostipal
Correct your spelling
hospitals
because they are able
pay
Add the particle
to pay
show examples
the hospital bills from their payout. It is not hard to say that authorities have to pay attention towards these things and use their money on
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. Probing
further
, the transport
system
is the major part of every country and I
assum
Correct your spelling
assume
that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
need to take
care
of it with the purpose of every citizen feel comfortable and afford the price of
tricket
Correct your spelling
petrol
, by
this
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can reduce the traffic and pollution level in the country.
Along with
it, the road
system
and infrastructure of the nation should
be well maintain
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be well maintained
show examples
to attract the
torium
Correct your spelling
tourism
thorium
and
promate
Correct your spelling
promote
the local culture to earn
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
sum
Fix the agreement mistake
sums
show examples
of money which they can
used
Change the verb form
use
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
the development of the area. Seriously, I believe,
this
is the right use of
people
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people's
show examples
tax
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taxes
show examples
and funds. In
couclusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
although
enterainment
Correct your spelling
entertainment
is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
important part of everyone life's as they need be relax
while
watching it.
Nonetheless
,
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
care
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education
,
medicial
Correct your spelling
medical
care
,
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
system
and other things is an essential and worthwhile use of funds.
Submitted by kirandkaur131 on

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task achievement
Be sure to fully develop your argument with specific examples. Your points currently lack detailed explanation and supporting evidence.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Your essay should have clear paragraphs each with a single main idea that is expanded upon.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and sentence construction to avoid errors which can make your argument difficult to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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