Some people believe that mobile phone converstions should be banned in crowded and social places. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Due to
the advancement of technology, it become very convenient and comfortable for all the
individuals to keep in touch with parents and near and dear ones. Some people believe that Correct article usage
apply
usage
of Correct article usage
the usage
phone
to make Fix the agreement mistake
phones
call
should be banned in Change the form of the verb
calls
the
public areas. Correct article usage
apply
While
others are not agree
with the notion
and Change the verb form
do not agree
i
Change the capitalization
I
also
believe that all the masses should have liberty
to Add an article
the liberty
use
mobile phones
from anywhere.
To begin
with, majority of the individuals use
cell phone
during travel, in restaurants and shopping malls Fix the agreement mistake
phones
thus
, they make disturbance
to others when they talk loudlyAdd an article
a disturbance
Rephrase
apply
thus
,other
masses feel uncomfortable and Correct word choice
and other
not
enjoy their leisure time . Add a missing verb
do not
Moreover
, sometimes people have private conversations on the
mobile Change the word
their
phones
that has
created security issues Change the verb form
have
as a result
they compromised
Wrong verb form
compromise
with
their Change preposition
apply
privacy's
. Change noun form
privacy
For instance
, a person discuss
their bank details, Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
important
passwords on Correct word choice
and important
phones
as per Bombay News 20% Change preposition
of scam
scam
has been done Fix the agreement mistake
scams
while
on phone
conversations and has
given great opportunities to Correct pronoun usage
this has
the
scammers .
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, and
I firmly believe that Correct word choice
apply
a cell
Correct the article-noun agreement
cell phones
a cell phone
phones
can use
in emergency situations and Wrong verb form
be used
avoided
mishappening to many. They can call for help during difficult Wrong verb form
avoid
time
from their families and the higher authorities like police and paramedics. Fix the agreement mistake
times
For example
, during accidents , robberies and car theft 90% people
call 911 to avoid disaster to Change preposition
of people
happened
. Change the form of the verb
happen
Futuremore
, some have important meetings, Correct your spelling
Furthermore
Correct word choice
and classes
classes
to attend as they want to change their surroundings and come out Correct word choice
and classes
Change preposition
of
from
their homes Change preposition
of
hence
, they use
headphones to complete their assignments as a result
they can Replace the word
concentrate
concentration
on their work which Replace the word
concentrate
thrives
their positive ideas .
Verb problem
improves
To conclude
, using mobile phone
in Fix the agreement mistake
phones
the
public Correct article usage
apply
have
more advantages as compared to disadvantages Correct subject-verb agreement
has
thus
, everyone should use
it
without any worries to maintain contact Correct pronoun usage
them
world-wide
in order to flourish their businesses and be in Correct your spelling
worldwide
a safe conditions
.Correct the article-noun agreement
a safe condition
safe conditions
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on
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coherence cohesion
Introduce the topic more clearly, summarizing both views before presenting your own opinion to enhance the introduction's effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices to link ideas across sentences and paragraphs for better readability and flow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the main points of the essay and clearly states your opinion, providing a sense of closure.
task achievement
Expand on each point with further explanation or examples to fully satisfy the task response criteria, ensuring that both views are addressed equally before expressing your opinion.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced discussion by exploring the counterarguments to your own opinion to show an understanding of both sides of the issue.
task achievement
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed, including the reasons why people may favor banning phone conversations in public and why others oppose the ban, before leading to your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
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- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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