IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The addiction tho the internet is a widespread problem. What problems does it cause and what is a suitable solution

#addiction #tho #internet
Nowadays, using mobiles and electronic devices
become
Wrong verb form
is becoming
show examples
 more and more and everyone
addicted
Add a missing verb
is addicted
show examples
 to the
internet
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all over the world.
This
 essay will
disuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 the over
use
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 is harmful to our
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
 and our health, and we suggest
to limit
Change the verb form
limiting
show examples
this
 problem from
continue
Change the form of the verb
continuing
show examples
 by inserting different
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
do
Correct pronoun usage
that do
show examples
 not need
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to be done . Everyone from adults to children
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 addicted to the
internet
 these days , and we
are not consider
Change the verb form
do not consider
show examples
 the harm that
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 can cause
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Firstly
 looking at
screen
Add an article
the screen
show examples
 of
mobile
Correct article usage
a mobile
show examples
 phone for a long time and
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 it without control will impact our sense of sight and
also
 lead to
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a rush eye headache
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
most of the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
.
Also
, it will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our communication skills , where
in
Change preposition
as
show examples
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
 of over using
internet
 we may not be able to talk or go throw discussion
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
as others who
use
 it in
limiteds
Correct your spelling
limited
show examples
.
For example
 , in 2020 children in Australia are more
likly
Correct your spelling
likely
 to play with
Ipads
Correct your spelling
iPads
show examples
 rather than play with others and talk to each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
. In order to solve
this
 issue , there are many solutions but there is a significant one that can reduce
this
 habit,which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
a rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
rules
a rule
show examples
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 using
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
.
Moreover
, put a specific time to
use
 Ipads and
electric
Replace the word
electrical
show examples
 devices in
home
Add an article
the home
show examples
 by parents to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young boys and girls , and prevent using them during eating lunch or dinner ,
also
 when sitting with family everyone
togeather
Correct your spelling
together
 it must be panned ,
this
 will strongest our relationships , and make our life
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
healthier.
For example
 , in 2022 , girls and boys in the United Kingdom are more clever and creative
also
 they
registering
Wrong verb form
register
show examples
 in school competitions because there is a rule to not buy tablets until they
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 17 years old.
To conclude
, overusing mobiles is a primary cause that
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 a weakness in communication skills , and the most of
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 wearing medical glasses ,
however
 m it can be addressed through
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
a rules
Correct the article-noun agreement
rules
a rule
show examples
 to make people more aware the real life and family.
Submitted by ghad17172002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each main point should be developed with specific details and examples.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure you address all parts of the prompt effectively. Expand on the problems caused by internet addiction with more detail and explore a wider range of solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: