Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?
Nowadays, society is busy with their jobs and does not have
time
to spend on leisure activities like sports, vacations and hobbies. In this
essay, I would like to elaborate benefits and drawbacks to individuals who are not interested in work-life balance. This
topic has become a well-known and debatable topic in the whole world.
Firstly
, I will discuss about
the advantages of working long hours and having less Remove the preposition
apply
time
for spare time
. When people
work more time
, they get the financial capacity to achieve their goals in a shorter period of time
. These days, one of the biggest dreams of people
is to buy a house or an apartment in a popular city,
and have good investments and a luxury vehicle. In order to achieve these, Remove the comma
apply
people
tend to work for long hours and earn some extra income. By earning this
extra income, they can maintain a luxury lifestyle as they wish.
Probing ahead, this
has negative impacts on the people
and their families as well. When people
are working for a long duration they will face work-related injuries and hazards like shoulder pain, back pain, neck pain and accidents. Furthermore
, they will not be satisfied with their work-life balance leading to stress, burnout, family disputes,relationship issues and withdrawal from social interactions. People
find it hard to allocate time
for family gatherings, special family occasions and leisure time
because they are always stuck with work-related matters.
To conclude
, in my point of view, I see there are both advantages like achieving future goals and luxury
lifestyle, Replace the word
a luxurious
also
disadvantages like catching occupational hazards and work-life balance problems. People
should think more wisely about these aspects when choosing a job because it will have a great impact on their lives.Submitted by lahiru_80 on
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Example Detail
Expand your examples to include more varied and detailed instances that support your main points, which will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
Balance in Argument
Consider balancing the amount of discussion on advantages and disadvantages to make your argument more robust and comprehensive.
Linking
Using a wider range of linking words and phrases could enhance the flow of your essay, making the relationships between your ideas clearer.
Deep Analysis
While you've addressed the topic, strive for a more nuanced examination of the impacts of work-life imbalance, perhaps by considering broader socioeconomic factors or comparing different perspectives more explicitly.
Introduction
Your introduction set up the essay topic clearly, providing a good foundation for the discussion.
Balanced View
You successfully outlined both advantages and disadvantages, fulfilling the essay's requirements.
Structure
The structure of your essay is logical, with a clear progression from introduction, through main body paragraphs, to conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.