Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Social networking platforms indeed are an integral part of modern
life
.
While
a faction of
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
holds the notion that social
media
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
digital communication and helps to be active in society, others argue that social
media
usage has several demerits.
This
essay will delve into both viewpoints and explain my support for the former view with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the most obvious disadvantages of social
media
is that it bleaches
privacy
Correct article usage
the privacy
show examples
of the people.
In other words
, there is a trend among people, especially
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
youngsters, that routine
life
pictures
publish
Wrong verb form
are published
show examples
in social
media
which is skeptical
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
their private
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
For example
, a
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
film
actress
Change noun form
actress's
show examples
pictures are altered and circulated
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
digital networking sites
leads
Wrong verb form
leading
show examples
to
a legal suits
Correct the article-noun agreement
legal suits
a legal suit
show examples
.
Similarly
, the
massess
Correct your spelling
masses
spend
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
social
media
which
would affect
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
their productivity.
Over use
Correct your spelling
Overuse
show examples
of digital networking sites may
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle. Since
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
indivduals
Correct your spelling
individual
individuals
live in a virtual world, they might not be aware
about
Change the preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
life
struggles.
Nevertheless
, social
media
, undeniably, enhances
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communication between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
friends and family. In short,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
geographically
seperated
Correct your spelling
separated
people can get
update
Fix the agreement mistake
updates
show examples
about
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
by following social
media
profile
Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
show examples
. To exemplify, social
media
groups would
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
to
maintainig
Correct your spelling
maintaining
maintain
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
among school friends.
Moreover
, celebrities use social
media
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
for
self boosting
Add a hyphen
self-boosting
show examples
which would help them for their professional success. In
this
technology-driven world, social
media
enables the opportunity that any common man can be famous by effective usage of social
media
websites. In conclusion, social
media
has
Verb problem
is
show examples
a threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
privacy and
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
to
sedentary
Correct article usage
a sedentary
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
However
, social
media
not only
improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
communication but
also
enables
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to be a celebrity are the obvious advantages of social
media
. I believe that social
media
one
Add a missing verb
is one
show examples
of the greatest
advant
Correct your spelling
advance
in the
mordern
Correct your spelling
modern
world.
Submitted by ck.manshad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure each main point is clearly introduced and expanded upon with specific examples or data.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs fully to express ideas more comprehensively and to expand on the claims made.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically and ensure a clear progression throughout the essay with appropriate use of linking words.
coherence cohesion
In the introductory and conclusion paragraphs, succinctly present your thesis statement or summary of your viewpoint.
task achievement
Present a balanced discussion that weighs both sides of the argument before presenting your own viewpoint.
grammar
Check the essay for grammatical accuracy and variety in sentence structure.
vocabulary
Use a range of vocabulary appropriately and accurately to express your ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instantaneous communication
  • geographical barriers
  • information hub
  • breaking news
  • educational content
  • professional networking
  • industry experts
  • community support
  • privacy infringement
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • mental wellbeing
  • social comparison
  • online validation
  • cyberbullying
  • detriments
  • vulnerable individuals
What to do next:
Look at other essays: