Some people think that fittest and strongest individual and team can achieve success in sports, while others believe that success depends on mental attitude. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe the key to attaining
success
in sports is cooperation of
team
members
who are very strong and fit with each other.Meanwhile,others assume that
victory
belongs to that
team
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
accepts itself to catch the reward.
this
essay will discuss both these points of view and argue in favour of the latter one . On the one hand, to many,
haveing
Correct your spelling
having
show examples
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
body in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition for athletes is one of the most important factors to obtain
victory
.
Furthermore
,
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
getting
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
success
in any kind of group
sports
Fix the agreement mistake
sport
show examples
,we need to have
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
team
and involve
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
team
members
Fix the agreement mistake
member
show examples
in the best way.The combination of these
tow
Correct your spelling
two
show examples
factors will cause
success
in competition.
For example
,in Cricket sport, we need the cooperation of
fittest
Correct article usage
the fittest
show examples
and strongest players and high-spirited teamwork.
On the other hand
, you can achieve
success
in your competition provided that you believe in yourself and be sure
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
that you can hit the rivals.It means if the
members
of a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
team
are strong but don't believe in themselves and their ability , definitely they can not be able to face
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
victory
.
Finally
,in my opinion,
although
the importance of being strong and playing with
team
members
to achieve
success
can not be denied,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
the role of mental attitude
outwiegh
Correct your spelling
outweighs
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
various reasons .
Above all
,
success
is obtained by believing in ourselves in any field of our life.
For instance
,a
waman
Correct your spelling
woman
who is
Correct article usage
a perofessional
show examples
perofessional
Correct your spelling
professional
swimmer ,
she
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can reach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
if she accepts her ability at first. By way of conclusion ,despite the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the importance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cooperation in
team
Correct article usage
a team
show examples
and strong individuals is
emphesized
Correct your spelling
emphasised
to attain
victory
in sports,I am of the opinion that believing in ourselves to
catch
Verb problem
achieve
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
success
plays
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
vital role.
Submitted by sinamousavi078 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic, but your ideas need to be developed more comprehensively. Providing specific examples can help support your points and make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion encapsulate the main points of the essay more clearly. They should introduce and summarise your arguments effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by organizing your points more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, and make sure each paragraph develops a single idea with supporting examples or reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and using a range of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will aid in making your arguments more coherent and cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical fitness
  • Endurance
  • Mental toughness
  • Motivation
  • Physical prowess
  • Coaching
  • Training methods
  • Support systems
  • Handling pressure
  • Consistent training
  • Discipline
  • Teamwork
  • Communication
  • Athletic longevity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: