IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
#stages #aluminium #drinks #cans #summaris #information #selectin #features #comparisions
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The scheme given provides information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 how the
prosedure
Correct your spelling
procedure
 recycling of
Use synonyms
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
drinks
Use synonyms
 cans.
Overall
Linking Words
, there
four
Add a missing verb
are four
show examples
 main stages to recycling these waste cans
Use synonyms
drinks
Correct word choice
and drinks
show examples
, in order first gain
rubbish
Use synonyms
 from
centre
Add an article
the centre
show examples
 collection, grouping the
rubbish
Use synonyms
 in
factory
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
,
Use synonyms
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
 recycling plan, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
Linking Words
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
put to
drinks
Use synonyms
 machines.
To begin
Linking Words
, waste
Use synonyms
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
 of
drinks
Use synonyms
 collected and be selection which is part of
Use synonyms
rubbish
Correct article usage
the rubbish
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 looking for,
then
Linking Words
 is brought by truck to the factory industry. Here the
rubbish
Use synonyms
 is
grouping
Wrong verb form
grouped
show examples
 become some
batch
Fix the agreement mistake
batches
show examples
 to be
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 in the next stages. After that, the
alumunium
Use synonyms
 is recycled
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 hot temperatures until
melt
Correct subject-verb agreement
melts
show examples
 down
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
alumunium
Use synonyms
 with
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
 shape
then
Linking Words
alumunium
Use synonyms
roll
Fix the agreement mistake
rolls
show examples
, and
is formed
Wrong verb form
forms
show examples
 new cans. The
last
Linking Words
 step is
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
 on the
drinks
Use synonyms
 machine and ready for use in
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
.
The example
Correct article usage
Example
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
drinks
Use synonyms
 waste is merk coca cola, sprite, and
also
Linking Words
starbuck
Correct your spelling
Starbucks
,
fanta
Change the capitalization
Fanta
show examples
.
Submitted by adhansdaily on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words alumunium, drinks, rubbish with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Recycling bins
  • Collection centers
  • Sorting
  • Debris
  • Compacting
  • Molten aluminium
  • Purification
  • Ingots
  • Rolled
  • Manufactured
  • Distribution
  • Energy consumption
  • Efficiency
  • Lifecycle
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