the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans. Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.

the diagram below shows the stages in the recycling of aluminium drinks cans.

Summaris the information by selectin and reporting the main features, and make comparisions where relevant.
The scheme given provides information
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
how the
prosedure
Correct your spelling
procedure
recycling of
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
drinks
cans.
Overall
, there
four
Add a missing verb
are four
show examples
main stages to recycling these waste cans
drinks
Correct word choice
and drinks
show examples
, in order first gain
rubbish
from
centre
Add an article
the centre
show examples
collection, grouping the
rubbish
in
factory
Add an article
the factory
a factory
show examples
,
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
recycling plan, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
last
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
put to
drinks
machines.
To begin
, waste
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
of
drinks
collected and be selection which is part of
rubbish
Correct article usage
the rubbish
show examples
that is
looking for,
then
is brought by truck to the factory industry. Here the
rubbish
is
grouping
Wrong verb form
grouped
show examples
become some
batch
Fix the agreement mistake
batches
show examples
to be
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
in the next stages. After that, the
alumunium
is recycled
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
hot temperatures until
melt
Correct subject-verb agreement
melts
show examples
down
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
alumunium
with
bar
Correct article usage
a bar
show examples
shape
then
alumunium
roll
Fix the agreement mistake
rolls
show examples
, and
is formed
Wrong verb form
forms
show examples
new cans. The
last
step is
put
Fix the infinitive
to put
show examples
on the
drinks
machine and ready for use in
publics
Fix the agreement mistake
public
show examples
.
The example
Correct article usage
Example
show examples
of
alumunium
Correct your spelling
aluminium
drinks
waste is merk coca cola, sprite, and
also
starbuck
Correct your spelling
Starbucks
,
fanta
Change the capitalization
Fanta
show examples
.
Submitted by adhansdaily on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words alumunium, drinks, rubbish with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Recycling bins
  • Collection centers
  • Sorting
  • Debris
  • Compacting
  • Molten aluminium
  • Purification
  • Ingots
  • Rolled
  • Manufactured
  • Distribution
  • Energy consumption
  • Efficiency
  • Lifecycle
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