IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people today prefer to consume fast food rather than traditional home cooked meals. What are the reasons for this ? Do you think this is a positive or negative developments.

#people #food #home #meals #developments
In
this
 modern era
demand
Correct article usage
the demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
junk
food
 has increased,
whearas
Correct your spelling
whereas
people
 do not
consern
Correct your spelling
consider
 much more
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traditional and
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
 meals.
This
 phenomenon refers to
trend
Add an article
the trend
a trend
show examples
 of
junk
food
 items more than traditional
foods
.
This
 trend, I believe, is a negative development because it directly affects
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
 healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 and
people
 who
addicted
Add a missing verb
are addicted
show examples
 to
get
Change the verb form
getting
show examples
junk
foods
 are vulnerable
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 getting
non communicable
Add a hyphen
non-communicable
show examples
diseases
.
This
 essay will
ecplore
Correct your spelling
explore
 how fast
foods
 affect
humans
Change noun form
humans'
human's
show examples
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
. Fast
foods
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 high demand in modern society and most of
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation and children prefer to get because
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 several reasons.
Firsty
Correct your spelling
Firstly
,
all most
Correct your spelling
almost
show examples
 all
junk
foods
 have
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
tasty
Replace the word
taste
show examples
 which is the prime reason for
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
. Apart from that, appearance plays a major role. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
example burger has several layers which enhance
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 appearance.
Besides
,
people
 who spend
Correct article usage
the
show examples
hustle
bustle
Correct word choice
and bustle
show examples
 of
busy
Add an article
a busy
show examples
 life do not have enough time and end of the day, they
automaticaly
Correct your spelling
automatically
 fed up,
therefore
 they
trend
Correct your spelling
tend
show examples
 to get fast
food
 as
esay
Correct your spelling
easy
essay
 for them. The increasing demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 fast
food
 id
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 maintaining
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
 because ingredient which is
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 for
marking
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
, are not
sutable
Correct your spelling
suitable
for humans because
chemical
Fix the agreement mistake
chemicals
show examples
has been
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 contained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
harmfully. MGS is the prime example that
use
Wrong verb form
is used
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
enhasing
Correct your spelling
enhance
taste
Correct article usage
the taste
show examples
 of meals. It
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
pathogenic situation because if any
persen
Correct your spelling
person
 who used
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
take
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
 a
log
Correct your spelling
long
show examples
 time, is vulnerable to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
dangerous
diseases
 like cancer Hense, society has been educated to
prerent
Correct your spelling
prevent
present
 from these
sort
Fix the agreement mistake
sorts
show examples
 of
diseases
.
Furthermore
, energetic and vibrant power
essential
Add a missing verb
is essential
show examples
 for anyone who works because it involves
to manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
 work without
tired
Add a missing verb
being tired
show examples
.
However
,
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
, it is impossible
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
people
 that
will
Verb problem
apply
show examples
affect for whole society.For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance,
Correct article usage
the quantily
show examples
quantily
Correct your spelling
quantity
 of
work
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
 can be
decreasld
Correct your spelling
decreased
due to
.
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of
resons
Correct your spelling
reasons
.There,
people
 should be aware.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion , I remain convinced that fast
foods
 are negative affect
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
 like it is difficult to maintain
energy
Correct article usage
an energy
show examples
 level whole the day and
non communicable
Add a hyphen
non-communicable
show examples
diseases
 can
be affect
Change the verb form
be affected
show examples
 in the near future looking ahead it is important to educate
people
 about the importance of traditional and
home made
Correct your spelling
homemade
show examples
foods
Submitted by dilsha.charuki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
It's important to ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Make sure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next, using appropriate paragraphing and linking words. Aim to present each main point in its own paragraph with supporting details.
task achievement
To fully address the task, make sure you answer all parts of the prompt. Include reasons why people prefer fast food and discuss the implications thoroughly, making sure to cover both the positive and negative aspects if the question requires it.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Use a variety of complex sentence structures to convey your points more effectively, and proofread your essay for grammatical accuracy and spelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: