Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr
show examples
Smith, I lost my
indentification
Correct your spelling
identification
card yesterday, I think it
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
the way from my
apartments
Fix the agreement mistake
apartment
show examples
to
university
Add an article
the university
a university
show examples
campus
. I tried to find it, but still have not
found
Correct pronoun usage
found it
show examples
. As you know, it is almost impossible to study
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
our high-tech university without
ID
Add an article
an ID
show examples
card. I spend 5 minutes explaining to
campus
sequrity
Correct your spelling
security
who am I each time I enter
campus
territory.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
I do not have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to get
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
books from
library
Correct article usage
the library
show examples
ant
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
directly affects my educational process.
Math
Correct article usage
The math
show examples
exam
Add a missing verb
is scheluded
show examples
scheluded
Correct your spelling
scheduled
fot
Correct your spelling
for
the next week and I really need time to prepare.
Finally
, I can not use my
students
Change noun form
student's
students'
show examples
discount at
campus
Correct article usage
the campus
show examples
cafeteria
ant
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
it upsets me so much.
This
is
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
my fault, but I sincerely ask you to issue a new ID card for me as soon as possible. I assure you I will be more attentive and responsible and it will not happen again. Sincerely, Dmitry. Dear Sir, I am writing to you because I have read an article about
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
course
which is going to start next week.
This
course
demands to have
elementary
Correct article usage
an elementary
show examples
course
accomplished, but I just found out about your school today. So, I have never formally studied computing, but I consider myself
as
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
computer user. I
have begun
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
to use
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
my childhood and I have the basic knowledge
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
hardware and software,
also
I worked
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
couple of months as
secretary
Add an article
a secretary
the secretary
show examples
at my father's business. My current employer made me an offer to promote me to
manager
Add an article
a manager
show examples
position, which is much
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better than my current role. But I have to learn
necessary
Correct article usage
the necessary
show examples
skills for
this
job. Based on
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
, I sincerely ask you to make an exception with my case and give me
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to join
this
course
.
This
course
can be
life-changing
Add an article
a life-changing
the life-changing
show examples
point in my career, and I can assure you I will do my best to finish
this
course
. Sincerely, Dmitry
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
It appears that you've provided two separate letters rather than an essay discussing the provided topic about museums and art galleries. Please ensure you write an essay that relates directly to the statement given, expressing whether you agree or disagree with the necessity of museums and art galleries in the age of digital access to historical objects and artwork.
coherence cohesion
Your text needs to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting sentences. You should connect your ideas and paragraphs using appropriate linking words.
task achievement
Including more specific examples related to the topic of museums and art galleries will strengthen your task response. Examples can illustrate your points and make your argument more convincing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • virtual
  • digital
  • online
  • accessibility
  • inclusivity
  • cultural heritage
  • physical experience
  • immersion
  • local tourism
  • economy
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!