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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

You have a full time job and also doing a part time evening course. You now find that you can not continue this course. -Describe the situation -Explain why you can not continue at this time -Say what action you would like to take

#time #job #part #course #-describe #situation #-explain #-say #action
Dear Mr. Sanjar, The reason why I am addressing
this
 letter is to let you know that I am not able to
carryt
Correct your spelling
carry
 on
my
Change the word
the
show examples
 course I attend in the evening at the educational centre. To be honest, some difficulties have
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in the
few
Correct word choice
past few
show examples
 days, which
is
Verb problem
has
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resulting
Wrong verb form
resulted
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 in my personal life. The main reason that I am forced to stop
this
 is that my parents are now extremely ill and I should return home and care for them. We are in the middle of studying maths at the educational centre and
this
 is highly impressive for me because I learned too much knowledge from
this
 course. If my parents were not so ill, I would not stop it. In
the
Correct article usage
a
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 few months, I hope my parents will recover from
this
 illness and at that time, I promise I will continue my course again. I would be very
gratefull
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grateful
if you
mermitted
Correct your spelling
permitted
 me to do it. I hope you will reply to my letter in the near future.
Your
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Yours
show examples
 sincerely, Sarvar Sog'lomov.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Logical Structure
Make sure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Introduce the situation in the first paragraph, provide details in the body, and suggest actions or draw conclusions in the final paragraph. In this essay, your structure is present but can be improved for clarity.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
Use a range of cohesive devices to help the reader follow your ideas more easily. The current use of linking words is good, but additional transition phrases could improve the flow of your essay.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more detailed explanations. For instance, explain how your parents' illness directly impacts your ability to continue the course, which you mentioned only briefly.
Complete Response
Ensure your letter fully answers the prompt by elaborating on the reasons you cannot continue the course and providing more specific details about the actions you would like to take or the accommodations you are seeking.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, consider expanding on the challenges you face and how they affect both your job and your studies, rather than focusing solely on your parents' illness.
Relevant Specific Examples
Include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your explanation. For instance, describe the pressures of managing both work and care duties, and how resuming the course later would help you achieve better work-study-life balance.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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