It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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this

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society that we live are always increasingly developing, it’s easy to understand when more and more technological devices appear around us and I think that

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

the reason why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

traditional cultures are gradually becoming

stranger

Fix the agreement mistake

strangers

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to the

children

being born now The

frist

Correct your spelling

first

thing will

happened

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happen

show examples

when

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology develops rapidly,

may

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

busy families will rely on

Correct your spelling

show examples

advertisements to make feeding their

children

easier and make

children

familiar with

these thing

Change the determiner

this thing

these things

show examples

and very hard

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for

show examples

these families

feeding

Change the verb form

to feed

show examples

their

children

without wifi.They are very

familier

Correct your spelling

familiar

with modern

way

and

foget

Correct your spelling

forget

the traditional

way

to feed them.So it

too

Add a missing verb

is too

show examples

hard to mix

these 2

Change the determiner

this 2 way

these 2 ways

show examples

way

together. The second thing

should

Correct pronoun usage

that should

show examples

be consider

Change the verb form

be considered

show examples

that

Add a missing verb

is that

show examples

many old people can’t

make

Verb problem

become

show examples

familier

Correct your spelling

familiar

with the

way

that

the

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apply

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society increasingly developing.They do their own work day after day and the emergence of technology makes them feel strange and difficult to adapt to.Not only

the

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apply

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old people,

many

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but many

show examples

children

and young people have their own world

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show examples

internet

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the internet

show examples

and they forget the

way

to take care of

those

Change the word

their

show examples

families and only

take

Verb problem

pay

show examples

attention

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show examples

online

Add an article

the online

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world with

those online friend

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that online friend

those online friends

show examples

.It

very

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is very

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seriously

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serious

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with

this

generation when they

habitual

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are habitual

show examples

with

these online thing

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this online thing

these online things

show examples

and forget

around

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that

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

have many real

friend

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friends

show examples

to hang out

and

Change preposition

with and

show examples

Correct your spelling

forget

foget

Correct your spelling

forget

the traditional

way

to make

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

To include, traditions shall not necessarily suffer from

mondernisation

Correct your spelling

modernisation

modernization

, and it is entirely possible for both of them to mix together

Submitted by dohuyhoang on Thu Feb 01 2024

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introduction & conclusion

Your essay presents basic ideas but lacks a clear and developed argument. It's important to introduce your essay with a thesis statement that clearly states your position and to conclude with a summarizing paragraph that restates your main points and opinion, providing closure to the essay.

paragraphing & coherence

Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines what the paragraph will discuss. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and make transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother.

idea development & examples

Work on fully developing your ideas by expanding on how technology impacts tradition with more detailed examples and explanations. Include both sides of the argument and a personal position that is supported by specific details and examples.

grammar & sentence structure

Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Improving these can significantly enhance the clarity of your writing. Consider varying your sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

1
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

240 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

inevitable
advancement
globalization
dilutes
traditional cultures
social media
blending of cultures
preservation
platforms
adaptability
technological adaptations
uphold
consequence
integrate
cultural frameworks

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It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the modern world, many employees lack soft skills such as communication and working in teams. What are the main causes of this problem? What are the effects of the lack of such skills? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people say history is one of the most important School subjects.other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.