It is inevitable that as technology advances, traditional cultures will be lost. It seems that we cannot have these two things together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
the
society that we live are always increasingly developing, it’s easy to understand when more and more technological devices appear around us and I think that Correct article usage
apply
was
the reason why Wrong verb form
is
the
traditional cultures are gradually becoming Correct article usage
apply
stranger
to the Fix the agreement mistake
strangers
children
being born now
The frist
thing will Correct your spelling
first
happened
when Change the verb form
happen
the
technology develops rapidly, Correct article usage
apply
may
busy families will rely on Correct your spelling
many
Tv
advertisements to make feeding their Correct your spelling
TV
children
easier and make children
familiar with these thing
and very hard Change the determiner
this thing
these things
to
these families Change preposition
for
feeding
their Change the verb form
to feed
children
without wifi.They are very familier
with modern Correct your spelling
familiar
way
and foget
the traditional Correct your spelling
forget
way
to feed them.So it too
hard to mix Add a missing verb
is too
these 2
Change the determiner
this 2 way
these 2 ways
way
together.
The second thing should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
that
many old people can’t Add a missing verb
is that
make
Verb problem
become
familier
with the Correct your spelling
familiar
way
that the
society increasingly developing.They do their own work day after day and the emergence of technology makes them feel strange and difficult to adapt to.Not only Correct article usage
apply
the
old people,Correct article usage
apply
many
Correct word choice
but many
children
and young people have their own world in
Change preposition
on
internet
and they forget the Correct article usage
the internet
way
to take care of those
families and only Change the word
their
take
attention Verb problem
pay
on
Change preposition
to
online
world with Add an article
the online
those online friend
.It Change the determiner
that online friend
those online friends
very
Add a missing verb
is very
seriously
with Change the word
serious
this
generation when they habitual
with Add a missing verb
are habitual
these online thing
and forget Change the determiner
this online thing
these online things
around
Change preposition
that
them
have many real Correct pronoun usage
they
friend
to hang out Change to a plural noun
friends
and
Change preposition
with and
Correct your spelling
forget
foget
the traditional Correct your spelling
forget
way
to make friend
To include, traditions shall not necessarily suffer from Fix the agreement mistake
friends
mondernisation
, and it is entirely possible for both of them to mix togetherCorrect your spelling
modernisation
modernization
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introduction & conclusion
Your essay presents basic ideas but lacks a clear and developed argument. It's important to introduce your essay with a thesis statement that clearly states your position and to conclude with a summarizing paragraph that restates your main points and opinion, providing closure to the essay.
paragraphing & coherence
Ensure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that outlines what the paragraph will discuss. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas and make transitions between sentences and paragraphs smoother.
idea development & examples
Work on fully developing your ideas by expanding on how technology impacts tradition with more detailed examples and explanations. Include both sides of the argument and a personal position that is supported by specific details and examples.
grammar & sentence structure
Check for grammatical errors and sentence structure issues. Improving these can significantly enhance the clarity of your writing. Consider varying your sentence structures to maintain the reader's interest.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.