You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You are due to start a new job next week but you will not be able to because you have some problems. Write a letter to your new employer. In your letter • explain your situation • describe your problems • tell him/her when you think you can start. You should write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write your own address.

#minutes #job #week #employer #situation #address

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Dear Sir, My name is Yudhveer, and I am

due to

start a new manager's job at your company on

1st

Correct article usage

the 1st

show examples

of January,

however

, I want to inform you that I will not

able

Add a missing verb

be able

show examples

to start as we agreed. My

visa

is on hold

due to

Correct article usage

the absense

show examples

absense

Correct your spelling

absence

of some documents,

therefore

, I will not make it on time as I planned. It is going to take

couple

Change the article

a couple

show examples

of months to process

such

documents and get

visa

Add an article

a visa

the visa

show examples

. The main problem was that my passport

got

Verb problem

apply

show examples

expired

last

month and I was not aware

about

Change the preposition

show examples

it. Now,

Change the capitalization

show examples

have applied for

new

Add an article

a new

show examples

passport, which is going to take around twenty days. The best that happened

that

Add a missing verb

was that

show examples

the immigration did not decline my

visa

application and gave me

month

Correct the article

a month

show examples

to resubmit

passport

Correct pronoun usage

my passport

show examples

. After

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

I can resume

visa

Correct article usage

the visa

show examples

process. I will able to start as you as I reach Canada and I am eager to work with your company as I have already

prepare

Change the verb form

prepared

show examples

some plans to take it to the next level. I will keep you updated on the process. Thank you for taking it into consideration. Kind Regards Yudhveer

Submitted by yudhveer4890 on Thu Feb 01 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure each paragraph contains a single, clear idea. The opening paragraph could be enhanced by more clearly stating your position and your employer's expectation. Then, segregate each problem distinctly in its own paragraph.

Task Achievement

While the letter successfully communicates the delay in starting the job, elaborating on your problems with more detail will enhance clarity. For example, explain the reasons for the absence of the required documents and how you are addressing the passport issue beyond the brief mention.

Coherence & Cohesion

The logical structure is generally good, but could be improved by using a clear introductory sentence at the beginning of each paragraph to signal its main focus.

Task Achievement

Formal greetings and closings are appropriately used, signaling a suitable tone for the letter. However, work on the consistency of formality throughout the letter for a more polished result.

Task Achievement

Taking care to avoid casual phrases and maintaining a professional tone throughout the letter will make your writing more suitable for formal communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

188 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

unforeseen circumstances
apologies
commencement date
postpone
urgent matters
documentation
commitment
flexibility
adjustments
reassurance
eager to contribute
rectify the situation
feasible start date
collaboration
understanding
mitigate

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