In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

#countries #people #children #job #travel #education #university

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Some people encourage their

children

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to travel or work before they start

the

Change the word

their

show examples

university career or after they finish

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

secondary school.In

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the essay

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essay

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essay,

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Change the capitalization

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will discuss

about

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apply

show examples

the advantages and disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

step,which

conseder

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consider

a challenge for them. At first glance, working at

this

Linking Words

age

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might be

benefit

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

for the

chlidren

Correct your spelling

children

. They can get an

exprince

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experience

experienced

and

learm

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learn

many things in their work.Which will help them in

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thier

Correct your spelling

their

career or when they apply for the

universty

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university

Although

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there is some truth to these ideas, it is

also

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true to say working

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show examples

that

age

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may cause a huge

preesure

Correct your spelling

pressure

for them,because they can not handle the work

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show examples

that

age

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Linking Words

this

Capitalize word

This

show examples

could ruin their dreams and their career in a short time.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, traveling and that

age

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could be a good

idea

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.They will face many problems and

circumutancess

Correct your spelling

circumstances

that it`s hard.If they get through all of them, they will learn many skills

such

Linking Words

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apply

show examples

problem solving

Add a hyphen

problem-solving

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,time management,etc.These skills can be beneficial for

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thier

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their

own

future

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However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

the assumption that all

children

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know how to deal with problems.They might face

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

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that

hard

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are hard

show examples

for them causing

for

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apply

show examples

them issues

as well as

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lack

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a lack

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confidance

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confidence

Whuch

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Which

will ruin

there

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their

show examples

future

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in the university. A

commonlly

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commonly

held

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apply

show examples

view is that

children

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need to travel to explore the world and figure

what

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out what

show examples

they want to be and why.

Linking Words

this

Capitalize word

This

show examples

idea

Use synonyms

will open

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

new doors and ideas for

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thier

Correct your spelling

their

mind.As

result

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a result

show examples

of that, they will follow

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thier ampition

Correct your spelling

their ambition

and dreams.

On the other hand

Linking Words

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

makes an assumption that all the

children

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will think of their

future

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.Because

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apply

show examples

you can not tell if the

children

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thinking of their

future

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or their pleasure.They might get spoiled and lazy because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

fact they are

traveling

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travelling

show examples

at that

age

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. In

couclousion

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conclusion

,There are many advantages and disadvantages

for

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show examples

that

idea

Use synonyms

. I think it is a good

idea

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for

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show examples

learn new things and get some skills.

However

Linking Words

, it might spoil the

children

Use synonyms

causing

Wrong verb form

cause

show examples

him

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

issues at that

age

Use synonyms

Submitted by suski205 on Thu Feb 01 2024

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introduction conclusion

Ensure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the discussed points without introducing new ideas.

supported main points

Develop clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that these are expanded upon with specific details and examples to fully support the main points.

logical structure

Organize your essay with clear, logical structure so that each paragraph seamlessly follows the previous one. Using linking words and phrases to connect ideas can significantly improve coherence.

complete response

Focus on fully responding to all parts of the prompt with a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages, including clear and comprehensive ideas backed by relevant examples.

language accuracy

Aim for precision in language use and try to avoid errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Proofread your work to improve readability and clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

326 words

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In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

It has been suggested that cars and public transport should be banned from city centres and only bicycles be allowed instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, people these days spend little time with their children. What are the causes of this? Whome does this affect more, parents or children?

Some people think that volunteering should be a mandatory part of high school education. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.