In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?
Some people encourage their
children
to travel or work before they start the
university career or after they finish Change the word
their
the
secondary school.In Correct article usage
apply
Add an article
the essay
essay
Add a comma
essay,
i
will discuss Change the capitalization
I
about
the advantages and disadvantages of Remove the preposition
apply
this
step,which conseder
a challenge for them.
At first glance, working at Correct your spelling
consider
this
age
might be benefit
for the Replace the word
beneficial
chlidren
. They can get an Correct your spelling
children
exprince
and Correct your spelling
experience
experienced
learm
many things in their work.Which will help them in Correct your spelling
learn
thier
career or when they apply for the Correct your spelling
their
universty
.Correct your spelling
university
Although
there is some truth to these ideas, it is also
true to say working in
that Change preposition
at
age
may cause a huge preesure
for them,because they can not handle the work Correct your spelling
pressure
ay
that Correct your spelling
at
age
.this
could ruin their dreams and their career in a short time.
Capitalize word
This
Furthermore
, traveling and that age
could be a good idea
.They will face many problems and circumutancess
that it`s hard.If they get through all of them, they will learn many skills Correct your spelling
circumstances
such
as ,
Remove the comma
apply
problem solving
,time management,etc.These skills can be beneficial for Add a hyphen
problem-solving
thier
own Correct your spelling
their
future
.However
,this
make
the assumption that all Change the verb form
makes
children
know how to deal with problems.They might face situation
that Fix the agreement mistake
situations
hard
for them causing Add a missing verb
are hard
for
them issues Change preposition
apply
as well as
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
confidance
.Correct your spelling
confidence
Whuch
will ruin Correct your spelling
Which
there
Correct your spelling
their
future
in the university.
A commonlly
held Correct your spelling
commonly
of
view is that Change preposition
apply
children
need to travel to explore the world and figure what
they want to be and why.Change preposition
out what
this
Capitalize word
This
idea
will open a
new doors and ideas for Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
thier
mind.As Correct your spelling
their
result
of that, they will follow Add an article
a result
thier ampition
and dreams.Correct your spelling
their ambition
On the other hand
,However
,this
makes an assumption that all the children
will think of their future
.Because,
you can not tell if the Remove the comma
apply
children
thinking of their future
or their pleasure.They might get spoiled and lazy because the
fact they are Change preposition
of the
traveling
at that Change the spelling
travelling
age
.
In couclousion
,There are many advantages and disadvantages Correct your spelling
conclusion
for
that Change preposition
to
idea
. I think it is a good idea
for
learn new things and get some skills.Change preposition
to
However
, it might spoil the children
or causing
Wrong verb form
cause
him
issues at that Correct pronoun usage
them
age
.Submitted by suski205 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion
Ensure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines the main points to be discussed. Your conclusion should effectively summarize the discussed points without introducing new ideas.
supported main points
Develop clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that these are expanded upon with specific details and examples to fully support the main points.
logical structure
Organize your essay with clear, logical structure so that each paragraph seamlessly follows the previous one. Using linking words and phrases to connect ideas can significantly improve coherence.
complete response
Focus on fully responding to all parts of the prompt with a balanced discussion of advantages and disadvantages, including clear and comprehensive ideas backed by relevant examples.
language accuracy
Aim for precision in language use and try to avoid errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Proofread your work to improve readability and clarity.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example