In some societies, more and more people are deciding to live alone. Why do you think this is? Do the advantages of living alone outweigh the disadvantages?

In
today
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today's
show examples
world, plenty of
people
have
choosen
Correct your spelling
chosen
to live by theirselves. A
lof
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lot
show examples
of individuals argue that living alone has a large number of positive outcomes, others contend living alone has some negative impact. Individualism culture right now is a result of various factors,
such
as social norms, economic
condition
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conditions
show examples
, and technological advancements. In the past, whether it
in
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was in
show examples
the same house or
same
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the same
show examples
area, most
of
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apply
show examples
people
stayed with their family.
However
, a large amount of
people
generally live by
theirselves
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
currently far away from their relatives.
Due to
this
, they should accustom their habits to do all thing independently. In
this
era, it was common,
people
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for people
show examples
also
have financial freedom
contion
Correct your spelling
condition
so they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
afford their primary needs. The massive development of
technologi
Correct your spelling
technology
laso
Correct your spelling
also
have
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has
show examples
been taking a big part
for
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in
show examples
this
manners
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manner
show examples
. With social media, we can connect each other just in one touch. Living alone allows
people
to become more productive as there
is
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are
show examples
no
distraction
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distractions
show examples
and unimportant things disturbing their activity.
Moreover
, it
also
provide
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provides
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us with more time efficiency and
keep
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keeps
show examples
our focus because free from some
responsibility
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responsibilities
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which we have if we live with our parents,
for instance
cleaning our home and
assist
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assisting
show examples
our mother
work
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with work
show examples
. On
another side
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the other hand
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, as social
creature
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creatures
show examples
, we should not cut our connection
from
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to
show examples
whole
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the whole
show examples
world. Someone should stay in touch face-to-face either
to
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with
show examples
their family or their friends. Individuals
also
tend to undergo stressful
condition
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conditions
show examples
if they
did
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do
show examples
not talk directly with someone for a
while
.
To sum up
, living alone has both positive
benefit
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benefits
show examples
and negative effects
for
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on
show examples
people
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people's
show examples
live
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lives
show examples
.
At
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In
show examples
the end, it all back to each
individuals
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individual
show examples
to choose their lifestyle either
it
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apply
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individualism
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individualist
show examples
or
socially
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social
show examples
. Even
we
Correct word choice
if we
show examples
already
choosed
Correct your spelling
chosen
our
live
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life
show examples
path, we should not
strict
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be strict
show examples
indeed and always maintain the right proportion for the best result.
Submitted by epindonta02 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you provide a clear opinion on the topic and directly address the essay question. Be specific about why people might choose to live alone and whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Use more concrete examples to support your points.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop a clearer structure for your essay by organizing ideas into coherent paragraphs with topic sentences. Use linking words effectively to improve the logical flow of the essay. Check and correct grammatical mistakes and make sure that vocabulary is used appropriately and varies throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • individualism
  • solitude
  • self-sufficiency
  • empowerment
  • autonomy
  • loneliness
  • mental well-being
  • financial independence
  • social isolation
  • personal growth
  • economic strain
  • urbanization
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