In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#businesses #emphasise #products #development

In modern years, businesses often highlight, in their commercial, that their

products

are innovative and brand new. I would argue that

this

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

happened on the grounds that consumers would simply follow everything that

companies

said as they thought their words were trustworthy and logical. I strongly believe that

this

is a massive negative development as

many

Correct quantifier usage

much

show examples

misinformation will emerge and create a deceitful world. Customers in recent eras tend to think less

critical

Change the word

critically

show examples

hence

sugar-coated advertisement will be their first choice.

Furthermore

, social media and influencers

further

develop their consumerism, leaving their own desire behind.

For example

, smartphone

companies

generally upgrade minimally towards their product every several months, but raise

its cost

Fix the agreement mistake

their costs

show examples

for

Change preposition

show examples

a whooping 10-20%.

This

leads to "loyal" customers

buy

Wrong verb form

buying

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

brand new mobile phones despite

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their previous phones

were

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

fine.

This

act of consumerism negatively

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

our civilization because we will no longer think with our

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

brain

Fix the agreement mistake

brains

show examples

, but

shaped

Add a missing verb

are shaped

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

the

Change noun form

companies'

show examples

companies

Change noun form

company's

companies'

show examples

content.

For instance

, there is an emerged terminology called greenwashing in business, brainwashing people that a certain new product is "green" or helping the environment. By doing so, the target market wouldn't even

cared

Change the verb form

care

show examples

to research thoroughly about the

products

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and just

followed

Wrong verb form

show examples

the claim. In reality, those "eco-friendly"

products

are not necessarily flawless

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and sometimes damage the environment even more through a massive ecological exploit. In conclusion, recently,

companies

emphasize that their

products

are new in their advertisement.

This

happened because

public

Add an article

the public

show examples

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

no longer

think

Correct subject-verb agreement

thinks

show examples

carefully

with

Change preposition

about

show examples

things

Correct article usage

the things

show examples

they willingly

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

buy, which should be considered as a major downside since

companies

can own the market by tricking their behaviour.

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introduction conclusion present

Try to create a more comprehensive introduction by clearly presenting the topic and your thesis statement. This helps the reader understand the direction of your essay from the start.

logical structure

Enhance logical structure by using a variety of linking words and clearly defined paragraphs to connect ideas smoothly.

supported main points

Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. The more detailed and concrete your examples, the stronger your argument will be.

complete response

Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This means expanding on why this trend is occurring and discussing both sides (positive and negative aspects) before reaching a conclusion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Clarify your ideas by making them more comprehensive and precise. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph clearly expresses a single main idea.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Providing real-world instances or credible statistics can help solidify your claims and make them more persuasive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

emphasise
advertising
products
innovation
competitive strategy
consumer dissatisfaction
value

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Most people prefer ready to eat food outside of their home rather than homemade food nowadays. Do you think this has more advantages or disadvantages?

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they should challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion.