In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In modern years, businesses often highlight, in their commercial, that their
products
are innovative and brand new. I would argue that this
is
happened on the grounds that consumers would simply follow everything that Unnecessary verb
apply
companies
said as they thought their words were trustworthy and logical. I strongly believe that this
is a massive negative development as many
misinformation will emerge and create a deceitful world.
Customers in recent eras tend to think less Correct quantifier usage
much
critical
, Change the word
critically
hence
sugar-coated advertisement will be their first choice. Furthermore
, social media and influencers further
develop their consumerism, leaving their own desire behind. For example
, smartphone companies
generally upgrade minimally towards their product every several months, but raise its cost
Fix the agreement mistake
their costs
for
a whooping 10-20%. Change preposition
by
This
leads to "loyal" customers buy
Wrong verb form
buying
the
brand new mobile phones despite Correct article usage
apply
of
their previous phones Change preposition
apply
were
fine.
Wrong verb form
being
This
act of consumerism negatively Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
impact
our civilization because we will no longer think with our Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
brain
, but Fix the agreement mistake
brains
shaped
by Add a missing verb
are shaped
Correct pronoun usage
apply
what
the Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change noun form
companies'
companies
content. Change noun form
company's
companies'
For instance
, there is an emerged terminology called greenwashing in business, brainwashing people that a certain new product is "green" or helping the environment. By doing so, the target market wouldn't even cared
to research thoroughly about the Change the verb form
care
products
,
and just Remove the comma
apply
followed
the claim. In reality, those "eco-friendly" Wrong verb form
follow
products
are not necessarily flawless,
and sometimes damage the environment even more through a massive ecological exploit.
In conclusion, recently, Remove the comma
apply
companies
emphasize that their products
are new in their advertisement. This
happened because public
Add an article
the public
are
no longer Unnecessary verb
apply
think
carefully Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
with
Change preposition
about
things
they willingly Correct article usage
the things
to
buy, which should be considered as a major downside since Fix the infinitive
apply
companies
can own the market by tricking their behaviour.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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introduction conclusion present
Try to create a more comprehensive introduction by clearly presenting the topic and your thesis statement. This helps the reader understand the direction of your essay from the start.
logical structure
Enhance logical structure by using a variety of linking words and clearly defined paragraphs to connect ideas smoothly.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples or evidence. The more detailed and concrete your examples, the stronger your argument will be.
complete response
Ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the task. This means expanding on why this trend is occurring and discussing both sides (positive and negative aspects) before reaching a conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Clarify your ideas by making them more comprehensive and precise. Avoid vague statements and ensure each paragraph clearly expresses a single main idea.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Providing real-world instances or credible statistics can help solidify your claims and make them more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite