The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram depicts the manufacturing steps for creating
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, manpower can be minimally used to produce
sugar
as
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
can take over almost all of the paramount importance steps.
On the other hand
,
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology is required to develop an all-machine
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturer
show examples
.
Firstly
, after
sugar
canes grow for 12-18 months,
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
can be harvested by manual
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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or by a specific vehicle used to harvest crops. After that,
sugar
canes are crushed to get all of the
juice
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
it.
Next,
the
juice
needs to be purified using
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
filter to create a purified solution.
The next step is
heating the purified
juice
using an evaporator to convert
juice
into syrup. The next process is centrifugating the previous product to easily differentiate
sugar
crystals from syrup.
Finally
, take the
sugar
crystals and dry and cool them until they become
sugar
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, juice with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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