The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The pie charts illustrate how four different products were sold using the online platform in New Zealand in the years 2003 and 2013.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen that the selling of books and film /music increased and the other two categories travel and clothes lost their population during one decade. In 2003, travelling was the most famous trend among New Zealand citizens

whereas

Linking Words

reading books was the least marked 19 per cent of people.

However

Linking Words

, books

became

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased by 3

per centage

Correct your spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2013 and travelling decreased significantly in 2013. In 2003, Online films and music shipping was shown at 21 per cent of citizens

however

Linking Words

, it gained huge popularity in 2013 by

percent

Correct your spelling

a percentage

show examples

of 13.After one decade, online sales of clothing became limited but in the beginning, it was higher than by 8%.

ishanisachithra3Fri Feb 02 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

134 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think that the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. to what extent do you agree?

In many countries, school-age children are spending their free time in doing homework. Is it a good or bad thing? What is your opinion? Give examples to support your view.

Nowadays, people of all ages from certain parts of the world spend most time at home rather than going outdoors. Discuss the reasons, is this negative or positive development?