The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

The pie charts illustrate how four different products were sold using the online platform in New Zealand in the years 2003 and 2013.

Overall

, it can be seen that the selling of books and film /music increased and the other two categories travel and clothes lost their population during one decade. In 2003, travelling was the most famous trend among New Zealand citizens

whereas

reading books was the least marked 19 per cent of people.

However

, books

became

Verb problem

apply

show examples

increased by 3

per centage

Correct your spelling

per cent

show examples

in 2013 and travelling decreased significantly in 2013. In 2003, Online films and music shipping was shown at 21 per cent of citizens

however

, it gained huge popularity in 2013 by

percent

Correct your spelling

a percentage

show examples

of 13.After one decade, online sales of clothing became limited but in the beginning, it was higher than by 8%.

Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

134 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

What to do next:

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many students choose to study at colleges and universities that are far away from the places where they grew up. Do the benefits of this outweigh the drawbacks?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the area of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the problem and give solutions ?

Some people think that interview is not reliable method of choosing whom to employ and there are other better methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is, in your opinion, the most important thing to succeed in life?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?