IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.

describe a graph that shows average growth in domestic products in wealthy countries, globalisers and non-globalisers.
#growth #products #countries #globalisers #non-globalisers
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart depicts
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 annual Gross Domestic Product (GDP)
growth
Use synonyms
 in 3 types
such
Linking Words
 as wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
,
globalisers
Use synonyms
 and
non
Add a hyphen
non-globalisers
show examples
globalisers
Use synonyms
 from 1960 until 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
, wealthy
countries
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest
growth
Use synonyms
 in 1960 and experienced a downward trend over
thirthy
Correct your spelling
thirty
 years
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
globalisers
Correct your spelling
globalised
globalists
 got the opposite, they faced an upward trend.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Non
Add a hyphen
Non-globalisers
show examples
globalisers
Use synonyms
 showed a
fluctuate
Change the verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 trend. Looking in more detail, in 1960, rich
countries
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 highest revenue at nearly 5%, after that, they decreased rapidly
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a level of 2% in 1990.
However
Linking Words
,
globaliser
Correct your spelling
globalised
countries
Use synonyms
 took
differently
Correct pronoun usage
it differently
show examples
. They started at around 1%
growth
Use synonyms
 of Gross Domestic Product in 1960 and
then
Linking Words
 it increased significantly to a level of fifth
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1990.
On the contrary
Linking Words
,
non
Add a hyphen
non-globalisers
show examples
globalisers
Use synonyms
 started at 2,5%
growth
Use synonyms
 of revenue,
then
Linking Words
 it went up and down until hit the bottom to a low of under 1% and ended up with a low rise at a level of 1,5%.
Submitted by Dedeways244 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words growth, countries, globalisers with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic products
  • wealthy countries
  • globalisers
  • non-globalisers
  • average growth
  • graph
  • trends
  • economies
  • advanced technology
  • globalization
  • global trade
  • integration
  • slow growth rate
  • participation
  • economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: