IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In the future, self driving cars will replace human drives. Is that a positive or negative development

#future #self #cars #drives #development
Undoubtedly, technology has spread its arms in every sector to a great extent and communication and advanced automobiles are no exception
Driverless
cars
 will be everywhere in upcoming years, and
this
 will bring many
benefits
. I believe the advantages of
Driverless
cars
 will far outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
 essay, I will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
driverless
cars
. One of the primary
benefits
 of
driverless
cars
 is the low rate of accident rate because they use rules and regulations on the dot rather than humans.
For example
, a system has replaced
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
driverless
 car how to admit rules and regulations on the road, and
also
 they can sense any kind of mistake on the way and will action as necessary.
Hence
, traffic congestion will be decreased significantly.
Furthermore
, disabled people who meet with an accident, cannot drive vehicles they own.
Therefore
,
this
 is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 opportunity for them to get their
freedom
 as they want because sometimes they have to clinic once a month, So,it is essential to go there destination without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
trouble and bothering others. Apart from that, When we consider a long journey, we can reach more advantages because
freedom
 can be achieved the whole journey and there is no tiredness
due to
 the journey. So end of the trip,
benefits
 can be obtained including
freedom
. In conclusion, I remain convinced that
driverless
cars
 have more
benefits
such
 as mitigating traffic congestion, enjoying
freedom
 and disabled people do not worry about their condition and transportation. In the near
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 it will be abundant
every
Change preposition
in every
show examples
 corner of the world.
Submitted by dilsha.charuki on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph relate to that idea. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly. Structure your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, each serving their distinct purpose.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure to fully address the prompt by discussing both the positive and negative development aspects of the topic. Include specific examples that illustrate your points and make your argument more persuasive. Ensure that all parts of the question are answered and that your position is clear throughout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: