It is important for children to learn differences between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disywith this option? What sort of punishment should paryand teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?

#children #differences #right #age #punishment #distinction #disywith #option #sort #paryand #teachers #behaviour

It is widely argued that teaching good manners to children at

initial

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the initial

show examples

stage of

there

Correct your spelling

their

show examples

age is highly needed. Some even believe that optimal measures should be taken to make sure they understand

this

concept.

According to

my perspective, I strongly agree with

this

point of view. In these

paragraphs

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paragraphs,

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I will discuss some reasons to support my agreement and

also

I will explain

regarding

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apply

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some methods which can be used in homes and schools.

To begin

with, children's

mind

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minds

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and

sole

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soles

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are like wet clay,

Correct pronoun usage

they

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can be molded very easily and in

desired

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the desired

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shape.

For example

, showing young people what is right and wrong will make

themselves

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them

show examples

understand which path they have to follow. Some schools in Korea teach children to clean

there

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their

show examples

classroom

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classrooms

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and

whole

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the whole

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corridor

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corridors

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from very early stages,

this

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and this

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have

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has

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shown beneficial in

there

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their

show examples

later

developments

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development

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Where as

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Whereas

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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schools in the United States have given much leisure time to

school going

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school-going

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students

as a result

they are very prone to get into

wrong

Correct article usage

the wrong

show examples

stuff very easily.

However

, some means of

punishments

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punishment

show examples

can be taken by

there

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their

show examples

guardians and teachers. One of the effective

measure

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measures

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is seen by giving them benefits for doing good

thing

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things

show examples

and taking some needful items when following a wrong path. Studies have shown that parents who follow

this

method have had a successful percentage of growing a humble human. Another way for teachers could be by providing stars or treats like chocolates,

this

will create

self

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show examples

learning environment and will become

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

daily habit. In conclusion, it is extremely necessary for parents

as well as

school teachers to make sure the future of the world

are

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show examples

rightful

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the right

show examples

path and appropriate methods should be taken to ensure

this

Submitted by sharjeel on Fri Feb 02 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a clear stance, but to increase the score in coherence and cohesion, make sure you structure your paragraphs effectively. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and a logical sequence of sentences supporting that idea. Aim for a more systematic approach to presenting your arguments, using topic sentences and cohesive devices like linking words.

task achievement

In terms of task achievement, it's key to address all parts of the prompt. You've given your opinion and some examples but ensure that you're fully answering both questions, including the different types of punishment and their appropriateness. Expanding on these elements will provide a more complete response and clearer, more comprehensive ideas.

task achievement

To make your main points more convincing, use more detailed and specific examples relevant to the topic. These can illustrate your arguments and bring a degree of specificity that helps examiners see that you understand the topic in depth. Avoid generalized statements and aim to demonstrate a more nuanced understanding of the issues at hand.

coherence cohesion

Be aware of grammar mistakes and typos such as 'there' instead of 'their', and maintain consistency in verb tenses to enhance the clarity of your writing. Regular practice and proofreading can significantly improve these issues.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The dangers of smoking are well known, yet many people continue with this habit. What are the causes of this? How can we reduce smoking in society?

In some countries, many people suffer from health problems due to eating too much fast food. It is , therefore, necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people want governments to spend money looking for life on other planets. Others, however, think this is a waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people argue the government should support the funds for arts, while others argue that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both those views and give your opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for spots or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.