the reason for increase the levels of pollution are the development of industry and air travel.

In the modern era, the levels of
pollution
increased significantly because of the expansion of
industry
and air travel. The issue is an unavoidable consequence of the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
show examples
era.
To begin
with,
pollution
has risen in a place that has experienced growth in
technology
.
For instance
, the chemicals used by
industry
increased the levels of
pollution
and
also
made a dangerous impact in Europe. In the 18th century, Europe's health was threatened by
pollution
,
while
the economy of Europe increased rapidly. Looking at more examples, the data in 2020 show aviation emissions were 70% higher than in 2005.
Although
important to innovate
technology
, the innovation should be environmentally friendly to reduce the amount of
pollution
.
For example
, the green
industry
reduces the number of
pollution
because
this
industry
prioritises sustainability and environmentally responsible processes. Nowadays, there are some countries that are consider to develop
technology
which is environmentally friendly and has low levels of
pollution
.
For instance
, some of the developed countries have developed vehicles with biodegradable materials. In conclusion, the causes of
this
case because the expansion of
technology
. So, it is important to innovate
technology
with environmentally friendly to decrease
pollution
.
Submitted by azizahqonitas on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which directly address the topic. However, to improve the logical structure of your essay, consider organizing your ideas more effectively by using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and make sure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. Transition words and phrases should be used to lead the reader through your arguments in a logical manner, ensuring that paragraphs and sentences are well-connected.
Task Achievement
You have partially achieved the task by addressing the causes of pollution related to industry and air travel. However, to improve your score further, it would be beneficial to explore the topic more deeply. This includes fully developing your ideas with more detailed explanations and a wider range of relevant examples. Additionally, ensure that your response remains focused on the questions asked and covers all aspects of the task.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: