IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

I would partially agree with the statement that men and
women
Use synonyms
 can share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. The point of
contengion
Correct your spelling
contention
 is in the second part of
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, let's get out of the way the first part, of
course
Add the comma(s)
course,
show examples
 men and
Use synonyms
women
Add the comma(s)
women,
show examples
 can share
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 chores,
there
Correct word choice
and there
show examples
 are no gender restrictions on who should do the dishes. There might be different cultural prejudices or some folks can be sat in their ways a little
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 much to the point of strictly assigning role models to fathers and mothers or wives and husbands. I figure, if a man and a woman
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to be
togather
Correct your spelling
together
, they should be able to find ways of splitting the responsibilities as they feel comfortable and not overburdened, so
whenver
Correct your spelling
whenever
 one or the other is under some pressure or stress, they could always receive a helping hand. Now in regards
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the second part of the statement, I wouldn't go as far as to strongly disagree with the fact that men and
women
Use synonyms
 should be equal in their rights. I'm not a bigot or sexist. I do think that
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 image of
feminist
Correct article usage
the feminist
show examples
movment
Correct your spelling
movement
 is disgraceful
due to
Linking Words
 being a "social train" that anyone can board.
This
Linking Words
movment
Correct your spelling
movement
 reached
a formidable changes
Correct the article-noun agreement
formidable changes
a formidable change
show examples
 since the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of
20th
Correct article usage
the 20th
show examples
 century, but the modern form of feminism - pushing it
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 far. Anyone can join it and force their own crooked
viewes
Correct your spelling
views
 as every
Use synonyms
women's
Fix the agreement mistake
woman's
show examples
 agenda and pain. There is no time nor do I have any level of expertise in
this
Linking Words
 matter (I feel
this
Linking Words
 should've been mentioned at the very
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
, well, better late
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 never). So in
attempt
Add an article
an attempt
show examples
to conclude
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 word salad: equal rights and responsibilities for all human beings is a perfection that can never be reached, some of the reasons are completely objective and wouldn't go anywhere,
some
Correct word choice
but some
show examples
 - can
be overcame
Change the verb form
be overcome
show examples
 in the future.

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coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas clearly. Each paragraph should have a main idea, and supporting details should relate to that idea.
task achievement
Use clear and simple language. Avoid complex phrases and keep your sentences straightforward to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Provide specific examples for your points. This can help show your ideas better and make them more convincing.
task achievement
You express a personal opinion and engage with the topic.
task achievement
You attempt to address both sides of the argument, showing some level of critical thinking.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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