Men and women can never share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

Nowadays it
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
more and more popular that both men and
women
share the same responsibilities at home and in everyday life.
However
, it was absolutely unacceptable in conformist societies before.
Moreover
, some of
theese
Correct your spelling
these
'
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
' rules are still
wide-spread
Correct your spelling
widespread
show examples
all over the world. In my opinion,
this
point of view got old and the new
chapted
Correct your spelling
change
has begun.
Firstly
, we need to take into
concideration
Correct your spelling
consideration
the new social policies and norms in the modern world.
Women
became more confident,
pro-active
Correct your spelling
proactive
show examples
and involved
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
their self-growth and self-development. Their interests go
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
further
than just
classical
Correct article usage
the classical
show examples
housewife scheme.
This
way, more
women
now are sharing everyday house responsibilities with their partners or hiring a house worker in order to help.
As a result
,
couple
Add an article
the couple
a couple
show examples
becomes more balanced and satisfied with their relations and well-being.
From
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other side, there are still a lot of people who believe that '
women
's place is in the kitchen'. Sexism has always been an issue, and
this
topic is not an exception. One of the points of why men shouldn't be doing housework is recent research that
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
us that the number of births is decreasing. That was explained by a huge amount of
women
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
put their
carreer
Correct your spelling
careers
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first place and simply
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
to dedicate their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
to work growth.
To sum up
, it seems that toxic masculinity is the main thing
that is
still holding modern society from developing and becoming the best possible place for everyone. Still, I believe that we are going in the right direction and soon sharing responsibilities in housework will be
new
Correct article usage
the new
show examples
normal for everyone.
Submitted by helgavitalivna on

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Task Response Clarity
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Transition & Flow
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Grammar & Spelling
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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