Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.
It is considered by some that learning some additional subjects to main one
while
studying in an
Change the article
a
university
is inappropriate for students
, while
there are others who think that this
is better to enreach
some skills from extra courses. From my perspective, there are some specialities that do not demand any extras, and it might be even harmful Correct your spelling
reach
enrich
for
people and Change the preposition
to
an
environment, Correct article usage
the
while
for some sort of professions
it might be useful.
On the one hand, many Add a comma
professions,
students
believe that focusing on university
subjects bring
them more strong fundamental knowledge and accuracy in their future profession. Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
In other words
, concentrating on a single task is more productive and effective than trying to cover all things together. This
is true especially for specialities which demand high
level of accuracy like medicine, law or engineering, the Add an article
a high
students
of this
fields have to study only Correct determiner usage
these
on
relevant and Change preposition
apply
proved
information, Replace the word
proven
witch
is likely to be in the Correct your spelling
which
university
, otherwise
any disinformation may bring some damage and even hurt people. Fore
example, if the graduate doctor were not attentive Correct your spelling
For
on
his classes it might cause some misinterpretation of diagnosis which may Change preposition
to
leed
even to Correct your spelling
lead
death
of a patient.
Add an article
the death
On the other hand
, having some extra knowledge and stay
on trend might be essential for artists, designers or Wrong verb form
staying
architectures
. These Replace the word
architects
students
often need some additional courses to enreach
inspiration or encounter other points of view. Correct your spelling
reach
enrich
Furthermore
, for many positions redundant qualifications can put one ahead.
Finaly
, in my Correct your spelling
Finally
opinion
both options are acceptable. Every person should Add the comma(s)
opinion,
Replace the word
choose
choice
on his own, what is better for his professional life.
Replace the word
choose
Therefore
, whether take
any additional courses or stay focused on Fix the infinitive
to take
university
curriculum depends on the specialty, because each approach might be both productive and redundant or even distracting.Correct article usage
the university
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task achievement
Your essay discusses two views on the importance of additional learning for university students but it lacks a clear thesis statement. It's important to state your position clearly in the introduction to provide a roadmap for the reader. Additionally, making use of contrasting or comparative language could better highlight the differences in opinion and add clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Try to organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use cohesive devices such as 'firstly,' 'however,' and 'in conclusion' to signal the structure of your argument and guide the reader through your ideas.
task achievement
While you did provide a general example involving doctors, it's essential to include more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This strengthens your arguments and demonstrates a wider understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.