The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001.

The graph below shows the percentage of households with different kinds of technology in the UK from 1997 to 2001.
Remarkable information is provided regarding the rate of using several technologies in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, over a 5-year interval, commencing in 1997 and
culminationg
Correct your spelling
culminating
in 2001. From an
overall
perspective
Add a comma
perspective,
show examples
it can
be observe
Change the verb form
be observed
show examples
that the among of
using
Verb problem
apply
show examples
all
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of discussed technologies has increased
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
years
Correct article usage
the years
show examples
. By a closer examination,
it is clear that
by ignoring little
flactuations
Correct your spelling
fluctuations
fluctuation
,
CD
Correct article usage
the CD
show examples
player
and computer both experienced linear increases. In 1997, CD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
and
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
stood at 60 and 40
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, respectively. They both grow about 20
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Turning to the telephone
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Internet and DVD
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
, they all have similar trends
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which they exceed by an increasing slope. In 1997,
telephone
Add an article
the telephone
a telephone
show examples
was at 20%
while
Internet
Add an article
the Internet
show examples
was
as
Change preposition
at
show examples
half of it.
This
10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
difference remained during the period which
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
1999 the usage of
DVD
Add an article
the DVD
show examples
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
was
Submitted by ashkanmlk80 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words player with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: