Some people believe that a person’s criminal record should be removed when they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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My name is Arman Effendi. I come from
Indonesia
with a background as
bachelor
Correct article usage
a bachelor
show examples
of
science
in Applied Meteorology with a specialization in
climate
and
earth
. I have interest in
this
field since high school because at that time I always learned new things related to
climate
change and
earth
conditions from the internet and social media.
This
curiosity led me to take
further
studies to the undergraduate level at the Applied Meteorology Department, IPB
University
. Graduating from IPB
University
with "
honors
Change the spelling
honours
show examples
" did not make me stop to find out more about
this
science
so I felt that I still had many shortcomings. I decided to apply for the
Earth
Dynamics
major because
this
major is closely related to
climate
and the
earth
,
such
as the courses "Past Life and Climates" and "Digital Geological Mapping". The courses in
this
major will be very helpful for me in terms of understanding
earth
dynamics
that I will relate to
climate
change. Of course, studying
this
new field of
science
will make me a specialist,
that is
, a professional and academic who understands how the
dynamics
of the
earth
are seen from various perspectives, especially from
climate
change.
This
has been my goal since I was in high school and I will pursue it to the best of my ability. As
one
of the candidates who applied to the
University
of
Padua
, I have some abilities that I consider enough to prove that I can be a top candidate in the
Earth
Dynamics
department. I have a portfolio of my writings on a website called "jurnaliklim.com" where I write about
climate
-related matters
such
as sea level rise, food security, and the threat of water scarcity in various parts of the
world
.
In addition
, I have microteaching skills, proven by being a practicum assistant in the courses of Climatological Methods, Remote Sensing Geographic Information Systems (RS GIS) for Applied Meteorology, and Tropical Climatology. The
last
thing that makes me
one
of the top candidates in
this
admission selection is that I often participate in research, with the latest being UKICIS (UK
Indonesia
Consortium for Interdisciplinary Sciences) research as a remote sensing and GIS assistant. I believe that these advantages can make me
one
of the
favorites
Change the spelling
favourites
show examples
to be accepted in
this
department. I am motivated to always study knowledge wherever it is, both in
Indonesia
and outside
Indonesia
.
One
of my destination countries to study
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
Italy, where there is a long history and a very thick culture related to the development of
science
in the
world
today. The
University
of
Padua
is
one
of the best universities in Italy with a ranking of 219 out of all universities in the
world
, based on data from topuniversities.com.
In addition
,
this
university
offers various programs that are in line with my field of
science
, namely
Earth
Dynamics
, so I am interested in deepening my knowledge at the
University
of
Padua
. Another thing that made me choose the
University
of
Padua
was its excellent academic reputation in various majors. Of course, these three things are very important to me in determining my
university
preference. I believe that I will be able to adapt to the
University
of
Padua
, given that it is
one
of the
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
universities in the
world
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task response
Ensure the essay directly addresses the question topic regarding the removal of criminal records. Provide a clear position and support it with relevant arguments.
coherence cohesion
Develop a more cohesive narrative that logically flows from one idea to the next, using clear topic sentences and cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear introduction and conclusion that are directly related to the essay's topic and argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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