The most important aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#aim #science #people #life

Certain people believe that the prominent

gole

Correct your spelling

goal

science

is to upgrade

human's

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human

show examples

life. I agree with

this

statement

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apply

show examples

because

science

has two major

role

Change to a plural noun

roles

show examples

in the medical field and software technologies. The reason behind

this

view will be discussed in

this

essay.

Firstly

, the dominant plan of

science

in the medical field, provide efficient health care to humanity. In

this

modern time, many ways to treat a single disease.

Moreover

, there are different choices of imaging to diagnose a single disease

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show examples

early

Correct article usage

the early

show examples

stages and save a life.

For instance

, cancer is the only disease

that is

quite tough to cure and diagnose

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at on

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

early stage, but

science

plays an important role

to get

Change preposition

in getting

show examples

rid of

this

. A recent survey by the WHO declared that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the health care efficiency

increase

Wrong verb form

increased

show examples

Change preposition

by 80

show examples

% than the previous century

due to

gradual advancement in

science

Secondly

, I would like to mention the other leading role of

science

in the human lifestyle is software technology.

Although

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

upgrade

Wrong verb form

have upgraded

show examples

individual life in the recent century, software engineering is the most important discovery of

this

century. There are many

softwares

Correct your spelling

software

to do business, study and entertain by sitting in one place. Many of my friends doing online businesses and online study. Conclusion It is concluded

Change preposition

apply

show examples

that

peoples

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

should have an awareness of advancement in

science

and solve their

problem

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problems

show examples

short

Correct article usage

the short

show examples

terms

Fix the agreement mistake

term

show examples

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should be passionate about advancement in

science

Submitted by jhonyxxx579 on Fri Feb 02 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your view. Your conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.

Task Response

Expand upon your ideas to clearly explain how science improves lives, providing more specific examples and elaborations.

Coherence

To improve coherence, ensure your essay has logical progression of ideas with clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate directly back to the main argument.

Cohesion

In terms of cohesion, make better use of cohesive devices to connect sentences and ideas smoothly. This can be achieved by using a variety of transition words and referencing words appropriately.

Grammar

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage. Proofreading your essay to correct grammatical errors will make your writing more professional.

Paraphrasing

Work on paraphrasing the introduction to give a more sophisticated overview of the topic without repeating the prompt verbatim.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

235 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most important aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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