The most important aim of science is to should be to improve people's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Certain people believe that the prominent
gole
Correct your spelling
goal

If you don’t want gole to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

of
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is to upgrade
human's
Change noun form
human

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
life. I agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
because
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

has two major
role
Change to a plural noun
roles

The singular noun role follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

show examples
in the medical field and software technologies. The reason behind
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

view will be discussed in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay.
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the dominant plan of
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the medical field, provide efficient health care to humanity. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

modern time, many ways to treat a single disease.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are different choices of imaging to diagnose a single disease
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
early
Correct article usage
the early

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
stages and save a life.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, cancer is the only disease
that is
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

quite tough to cure and diagnose
Change preposition
at on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
on
Correct your spelling
an

The word on doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
early stage, but
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

plays an important role
to get
Change preposition
in getting

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
rid of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

. A recent survey by the WHO declared that
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction that. Consider removing the comma.

show examples
the health care efficiency
increase
Wrong verb form
increased

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb increase. Consider changing it.

show examples
80
Change preposition
by 80

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
% than the previous century
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

gradual advancement in
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I would like to mention the other leading role of
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in the human lifestyle is software technology.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers

It seems that computer may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
upgrade
Wrong verb form
have upgraded

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb upgrade. Consider changing it.

show examples
individual life in the recent century, software engineering is the most important discovery of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

century. There are many
softwares
Correct your spelling
software

If you don’t want softwares to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

to do business, study and entertain by sitting in one place. Many of my friends doing online businesses and online study. Conclusion It is concluded
in
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
that
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people

It seems that peoples may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
should have an awareness of advancement in
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and solve their
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems

It seems that problem may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
in
short
Correct article usage
the short

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
terms
Fix the agreement mistake
term

It seems that terms may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
Government
Correct article usage
The government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
should be passionate about advancement in
science
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your view. Your conclusion should summarize the main points without introducing new ideas.
Task Response
Expand upon your ideas to clearly explain how science improves lives, providing more specific examples and elaborations.
Coherence
To improve coherence, ensure your essay has logical progression of ideas with clear topic sentences for each paragraph that relate directly back to the main argument.
Cohesion
In terms of cohesion, make better use of cohesive devices to connect sentences and ideas smoothly. This can be achieved by using a variety of transition words and referencing words appropriately.
Grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and proper tense usage. Proofreading your essay to correct grammatical errors will make your writing more professional.
Paraphrasing
Work on paraphrasing the introduction to give a more sophisticated overview of the topic without repeating the prompt verbatim.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: