IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You were going to start a job next month, but you will not be able to. Write a letter to your future employer. In your letter explain the situation describe your problem(s) tell him/her when you can start work

#job #month #future #employer #situation #work
Dear Sir , I am Harvinder Kaur and
i
Change the capitalization
I
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got
Verb problem
have
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opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to serve in your prestige multinational company in
HR
Correct article usage
the HR
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 department from next week. . I am writing
this
 letter to apologize
you
Change preposition
to you
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 that I will not be
to
Correct word choice
able to
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 handle responsibility from the given date. Actually, my father has been hospitalized
since
Change preposition
for
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 two days and he
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 diagnosed with
severe
Correct article usage
a severe
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 heart condition
thus
 doctors suggested
to do
Verb problem
having
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 heart surgery no later than a week. I am the only one who has responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
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 my parents as
mother
Correct pronoun usage
my mother
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 is old and not able to stay at the hospital .
Hence
 , I am liable to take care of my parents. I will assure you as soon as my father
feel
Correct subject-verb agreement
feels
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 better I will start my duties because work is equally important
for
Change preposition
to
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 me .
In addition
, I really need money
to
Change preposition
for
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 all the
hospitals
Change the noun form
hospital
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 bills as it will really support me financially and devalue my stress. Sorry for the inconvenience . I am looking forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harvinder Kaur
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure that your letter follows a clear and logical structure. Begin with a brief introduction, follow with a paragraph detailing the situation, another explaining your problems, and conclude with when you expect to be able to start work.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use greetings and closings that are appropriate for formal letters. For example, you could start with 'Dear [Employer's Name or Job Title],' and end with 'Yours sincerely,' followed by your full name.
Coherence & Cohesion
Aim to express only one main idea in each paragraph for clarity. This helps the reader follow along with your explanation and understand each aspect of the issue you're addressing.
Task Achievement
Address the task items directly and comprehensively. It's essential to explain the situation, describe your problems, and specify when you can start work in a detailed and clear manner.
Task Achievement
Maintain a professional and formal tone throughout your letter. Avoid being too casual, and use polite language to leave a positive impression on your employer.
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