IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

the graph show the process to make cocoa. describe it

the graph show the process to make cocoa. describe it
The image shows the process
to produce
Change preposition
of producing
show examples
a liquid chocolate
Remove the article
liquid chocolate
a bar of liquid chocolate
show examples
 from cacao trees. The process takes approximately ten steps, starting from
riping
Verb problem
ripening
show examples
 the red
pods
Use synonyms
 to pressing the liquid chocolate.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the process starts by planting cacao trees which are usually grown in South America, Africa, and Indonesia. Once the red
pods
Use synonyms
 have ripened, the
pods
Use synonyms
 are harvested.
Next,
Linking Words
the white cocoa
beans
Use synonyms
 inside the
pods
Use synonyms
 are taken and fermented.
Then
Linking Words
, the
beans
Use synonyms
 will be spread in the sun until
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
dries
Correct subject-verb agreement
dry
show examples
 before putting
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 in
a large sacks
Correct the article-noun agreement
large sacks
a large sack
show examples
 to transport
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 to
factory
Add an article
the factory
show examples
 by lorry or train. At the factory, the
beans
Use synonyms
 will be roasted using a machine. After it is roasted, the
beans
Use synonyms
 will be crushed and the outer shell will be removed.
Finally
Linking Words
, the crushed
beans
Use synonyms
 are pressed using a machine to produce the liquid chocolate.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pods, beans with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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