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Band 3.5

Many people choose the travel abroad to learn a foreign language instead of studying in their home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #travel #language #home
Some
people
 are leaving their city and the reason for
this
 is that they are leaving in order to learn a foreign
language
 .
While
 there are some advantages of
this
 learning, we should not forget about its potential disadvantages. On the one hand, many
people
 are leaving to abroad because
learn to
Verb problem
they are learning
show examples
 other languages. Definitely,
this
 is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 improvement because they bring good experience from other countries. If many
people
 learn a foreign
language
, it is a benefit for their country. It can
also
 be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 experience for the younger generation. By
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and studying abroad, they can easily understand the
people
 of other countries.
For instance
, my friend studied
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
abroad
also
 she
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easily
speaking
Wrong verb form
speaks
show examples
 the
people
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 other countries.
Besides
 that, foreign
language
 has many benefits for life.
On the other hand
, there are disadvantages to learning a
language
while
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
. In
this
case
Add a comma
case,
show examples
 they have to leave their home town for learning. If they live there and stay it is
large
Add an article
a large
show examples
 loss for their country.
That is
 ,
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 will
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decrease
. It can
also
 cause their family members to stay alone .
For example
, my
neighbor
Change the spelling
neighbour
show examples
leaved
Correct your spelling
left
show examples
 to abroad
for learning
Change preposition
to learn
show examples
.
Then
 his family members remained alone .
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 he is not come to home town. In conclusion, some
people
 travel to another country
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study a foreign
language
instead
 of studying in their home town.
Nevertheless
, most
people
 could not tell whether
this
 was good or bad.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ensure to organize your ideas more logically. Use clear paragraphs to separate different points, and utilize linking words to connect your ideas throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction, make your thesis statement clearer by explicitly stating the advantages and disadvantages you plan to discuss. Conclude by summarizing both the benefits and the drawbacks, not by questioning the phenomenon.
task achievement
For task achievement, make sure to fully address the prompt by expanding on both the advantages and disadvantages with equal depth, providing specific examples to validate your points.
task achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the complexity and accuracy of your writing. Avoid repetition of words and phrases, and check for grammatical errors that hinder clear understanding.
task achievement
Introduce relevant, specific examples to support your points. These examples should be detailed enough to demonstrate how they relate to the main idea being discussed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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