The pie graphs show the nutritional consistency of two dinners. Write a report to a university lecturer describing the data. You should write at least 150 words.
great number of people thought, having a lot of
money
is essential for being fortunate. While
a handful of other people believe that, there is no relation between wealth and good luck. In my opinion, payment is one of the most effective factors to approach happiness. However
, there are so many other factors to help us achieve good luck and happiness.
Firstly
, it is clear that
having a low economic situation is the source of too many problems , and we can see the bad effect of a bad economy in today's life
. For doing
everything we need cash Change preposition
To do
for instance
,
if we want to continue our education we have to pay bills, if we need to go to the hospital and need medical care we have to pay for them, even if we want to provide primary activity stuff we need to pay. Remove the comma
apply
Hence
, for having
a comfortable and relaxed soul with fewer headaches and problems we must build a high economic situation.
Change preposition
to have
On the other hand
, in this
,world there are a high number of things which are base for happiness and we are unable to afford or achieve them without a salary. To have a clear example of it, love, trust, honesty and
etc .These are things that we can not get from Correct word choice
apply
money
. Moreover
, there is some other stuff that needs both money
and our talent and skills, for instance
, education. We might be able to go to the top university with money
but if we do not have the intelligence to continue , it would not work. While
having good knowledge besides
property is the key to a good life
.
In conclusion, being wealthy can help us to solve a lot of problems in life
, but money
is not the only key to a successful and happy life
.Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "for instance, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words money, life with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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