Overpopulation of urban areas has led to numerous problems. Identify one or two serious ones and suggest ways that governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
Nowadays, there is a trend for
people
to move from rural to urban areas to make a better life for themselves. Gradually, the number of individuals is becoming much larger in cities
, and cities
in turn are expanding. What is more, this
situation creates a great deal of
issues for local authorities and governments, Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
such
as the degradation and even disappearance of small towns
or villages
until the impossibility of the
Correct article usage
apply
towns
' management bodies to
face the increasing Fix the infinitive
apply
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
population
and provide them with housing, kindergartens, schools.
One of the main problems, as the population
of cities
increases, the number of residents in small towns
and villages
decreases drastically. Young people
move in
big Change preposition
to
cities
, as a
result
to find a better job and life. Add the comma(s)
result,
Therefore
, middle-aged and elderly people
remain in their location, which could mean that these areas could gradually disappear over the years. Conversely
, as more people
chose
to find themselves in Wrong verb form
choose
a
big Correct article usage
apply
city
, develop and live in these, Fix the agreement mistake
cities
for
local authorities appear much more Change preposition
apply
difficulties
to arrange infrastructures Replace the word
difficult
as a result
of overpopulation
of urban areas.
Public management bodies and the government should be concerned Correct article usage
the overpopulation
to bring
the young Change preposition
about bringing
population
back to small towns
and villages
, creating jobs according to
today's requirements. For instance
, the modernisation of factories, educational institutions, infrastructure, recreational
facilities for children, young Correct word choice
and recreational
people
and adults. So that people
feel comfortable in their small settlements. Young people
after finishing higher education institutions should have the desire to return to their native places and find a job that suits their studies or interests.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that the problems of urban population
growth could be minimised as long as governments, local authorities and people
as a whole are aware of our future on this
planet and contribute more to the modernisation of small towns
and villages
.Submitted by acaitaz on
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task achievement
Be sure to directly answer the prompt by identifying one or two serious problems caused by overpopulation in urban areas, then clearly suggest ways governments and individuals can tackle these problems.
coherence & cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
While you've provided a broad solution, consider adding more specific examples and measures that governments or individuals can implement to address the issues described.
coherence & cohesion
Your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
You've presented a critical issue impacted by urban overpopulation, focusing on the decline of small towns and challenges in city management.
task achievement
The suggestion to modernize small towns as a solution is a thoughtful approach to encouraging population distribution.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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