One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you yhink the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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Upgraded medical facilities and science
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

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gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts

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to the current generation. One advantageous result of it is that
people
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are living for more years and
their
Replace the word
there

The word their may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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is
significant
Add an article
a significant

The noun phrase significant increase seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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increase in life expectancy.
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Although
Correct word choice
However

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,
this
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practice brings about
the
Correct article usage
a

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mixed bag of banes and boons. I believe that it is very beneficial for the population. On the constructive side, the
sociey
Correct your spelling
society

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is blessed with numerous benefits from advanced medical technology which are worth mentioning.
To begin
Linking Words

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, now
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can enjoy their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives

It seems that life may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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more confidently
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advancement
Fix the agreement mistake
advancements

It seems that advancement may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in medical technologies
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as full body scanners,
portable
Correct word choice
and portable

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blood pressure monitoring machines, which
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help

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to detect,
diagonise
Correct your spelling
diagnose

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, and treat any abnormality in the body at
earliest
Correct article usage
the earliest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
Secondly
Linking Words

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, artificial intelligence has played a major role in medical science, by making the life of surgeons a lot more convenient. Surgeons can practice any complicated surgery by using
augmented
Correct article usage
an augmented

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reality environment before the actual execution.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, NHS was able to perform 40% of surgeries using AR technology to ensure the process with
80
Correct article usage
an 80

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% success rate.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it provides
confident
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confidence

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and
ensurance
Correct your spelling
assurance

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to patients about the surgical procedure
while
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

going for the treatment of any complex surgery. On the destructive side, with the availability of
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

advance
Replace the word
advanced

The word advance doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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medicines and
equipements
Correct your spelling
equipment

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,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have increased the use of
anti-biotics
Correct your spelling
antibiotics

The word anti-biotics doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for small fever or weakness as well. Eventually, causing severe damage to the immune system and hormonal process of the body.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

equipement
Correct your spelling
equipment

If you don’t want equipement to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

will be used in extreme conditions to cure the disease. Beforehand, it is an individual duty to keep check on nutritional food and regular exercise. In the end,
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

needs
Change the verb form
need

The verb needs does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to understand that exercise and nutritional food still
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need

It seems that the verb needs does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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to be followed to stay away from
the
Correct article usage
apply

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diseases.

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introduction
Ensure that your introduction provides a clear outline of what will be discussed in the essay, detailing both sides of the argument.
coherence
Work on creating a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, using a range of cohesive devices effectively.
development
Expand upon your main points with further explanation and analysis to strengthen your argument and clarity.
support
Refrain from over-generalizing; provide specific details and examples where appropriate to support your points.
lexical resource
Avoid repetitive wording and use a range of vocabulary to express your points more vividly.
task response
Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy more evenly.
accuracy
Proofread your essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • longevity
  • life expectancy
  • demographic shifts
  • elderly
  • wisdom
  • ageing population
  • healthcare system
  • pensions
  • mentorship
  • innovation
  • assistive technologies
  • cultural dynamics
  • family structures
  • medical advancements
  • quality of life
  • economic sustainability
  • dependency ratio
  • social contributions
  • volunteerism
  • preventative measures
What to do next:
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