One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you yhink the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #yhink #development

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Upgraded medical facilities and science

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

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to the current generation. One advantageous result of it is that

people

Use synonyms

are living for more years and

their

Replace the word

there

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significant

Add an article

a significant

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increase in life expectancy.

Linking Words

Although

Correct word choice

However

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this

Linking Words

practice brings about

the

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mixed bag of banes and boons. I believe that it is very beneficial for the population. On the constructive side, the

sociey

Correct your spelling

society

is blessed with numerous benefits from advanced medical technology which are worth mentioning.

To begin

Linking Words

, now

people

Use synonyms

can enjoy their

life

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lives

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more confidently

due to

Linking Words

advancement

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advancements

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in medical technologies

such

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as full body scanners,

portable

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and portable

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blood pressure monitoring machines, which

helps

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help

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to detect,

diagonise

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diagnose

, and treat any abnormality in the body at

earliest

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the earliest

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Secondly

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, artificial intelligence has played a major role in medical science, by making the life of surgeons a lot more convenient. Surgeons can practice any complicated surgery by using

augmented

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an augmented

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reality environment before the actual execution.

For instance

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, NHS was able to perform 40% of surgeries using AR technology to ensure the process with

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an 80

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% success rate.

Moreover

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, it provides

confident

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confidence

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and

ensurance

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assurance

to patients about the surgical procedure

while

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going for the treatment of any complex surgery. On the destructive side, with the availability of

such

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advance

Replace the word

advanced

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medicines and

equipements

Correct your spelling

equipment

people

Use synonyms

have increased the use of

anti-biotics

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antibiotics

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for small fever or weakness as well. Eventually, causing severe damage to the immune system and hormonal process of the body.

Moreover

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such

Linking Words

equipement

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equipment

will be used in extreme conditions to cure the disease. Beforehand, it is an individual duty to keep check on nutritional food and regular exercise. In the end,

people

Use synonyms

needs

Change the verb form

need

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to understand that exercise and nutritional food still

needs

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need

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to be followed to stay away from

the

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apply

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diseases.

Submitted by dinkarv94 on Sat Feb 03 2024

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introduction

Ensure that your introduction provides a clear outline of what will be discussed in the essay, detailing both sides of the argument.

coherence

Work on creating a more logical flow between sentences and paragraphs, using a range of cohesive devices effectively.

development

Expand upon your main points with further explanation and analysis to strengthen your argument and clarity.

support

Refrain from over-generalizing; provide specific details and examples where appropriate to support your points.

lexical resource

Avoid repetitive wording and use a range of vocabulary to express your points more vividly.

task response

Make sure to directly address the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy more evenly.

accuracy

Proofread your essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors or awkward phrasings.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

283 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

longevity
life expectancy
demographic shifts
elderly
wisdom
ageing population
healthcare system
pensions
mentorship
innovation
assistive technologies
cultural dynamics
family structures
medical advancements
quality of life
economic sustainability
dependency ratio
social contributions
volunteerism
preventative measures

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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you yhink the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than every other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support this claim.

Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?