Some people believe that young people bring more profits to a company. Others say that older people actually bring more profits. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Employees
are the blood of every organisation. Whereas
some people think that youth
brings more profits
to the
enterprises, others say that senior citizens bring more revenues. Correct article usage
apply
This
essay discusses both viewpoints and I strongly agree with the former opinion for the following reasons.
On the one hand, younger workers
bring enormous profits
to an organisation because they are more energtic
, so they can do any Correct your spelling
energetic
works
at any time even over time. Fix the agreement mistake
work
Similarly
, young blood people have more knowledge about the
new technology and Correct article usage
apply
machines
, they know very well how to operate new machines
. For example
, automobile companies
are loaded with young employees
because they work speedily in order to the companies
earn more profits
. Needless to say, youth
workers
can take risk
if any problems arise Fix the agreement mistake
risks
in
Change preposition
with
machines
while
they can handle
. Correct pronoun usage
handle them
Hence
, young blood individuals bring more gains to enterprises.
On the other hand
, senior people generate more incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
to
Change preposition
for
companies
through their constructive experiences. This
means they have more years of working experience, so they can handle any hectic situations in working time. For instance
, older workers
provide service training to new employees
with
how to behave in discipline and operate Change preposition
on
machines
. Likewise
, senior employees
have little knowledge of new technology, so they can work as much as young workers
do. Hereby, elder employees
generate more revenues to
Change preposition
for
companies
.
To conclude
, although
youth
Correct your spelling
young
employees
have
more knowledgeable about new technology, Verb problem
are
Correct word choice
and hard
hard
worker so they can bring massive Correct your spelling
are
amount
of earnings to organisations, elder Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
workers
have plenty of experience and know very well how to do jobs so they bring more
Change preposition
in more
profits
. However
, in my opinion, about
Change preposition
apply
Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
, I strongly agree with
that Change preposition
apply
youth
bring more profits
to an organisations
.Correct the article-noun agreement
an organisation
organisations
Submitted by reanudeepan on
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task response
Ensure you provide clear topic sentences for each paragraph to establish the main point. Avoid overly general statements and focus on developing specific ideas related to the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Make better use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs together clearly. This will enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
task response
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your arguments, ensuring these illustrations are directly related to the profits brought to companies by different age groups of employees.
coherence and cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to avoid repetition and engage the reader more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and ensure correct usage of tenses and articles. This will contribute to the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay.