The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Science
is making greater impacts in today's world.
Therefore
, there
has be
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
counteractions, which proposed that the major aim should be to improve
individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
show examples
lives.
This
essay will discuss reasons why I approve of
this
statement.
To begin
with,
science
has provided us with new technologies, which are been used as permanent
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
for diseases. To elucidate
further
,
this
machines
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machine
show examples
has helped to put an end to pains and sufferings that
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
impossible to eliminate in the past.
For instance
, since the introduction of
bone
Add an article
a bone
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marrow transplant, which is been used for
permanent
Correct article usage
the permanent
show examples
healing of sickle cell disease, there has been no history of mortality.
Hence
, the introduction of
science
has made
great
Add an article
a great
show examples
impact towards permanent
cure
Fix the agreement mistake
cures
show examples
for ailments.
Secondly
, it enlightens the citizens on adequate measures to follow regarding their
health
.
In other words
, it teaches the individuals
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
safety precautions,
as well as
intense considerations when making decisions pertaining
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
general
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
.
For example
, the use of herbal concoction in past times in Nigeria, for treatment of
ailment's
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ailments
show examples
was endangering the immune system.
However
, since
western
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Western
show examples
medicine has been in place, there has been more awareness,
such
as seeking proper
health
care from a professional and
also
been
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being
show examples
cautious with any fluid intake posing as
form
Add an article
a form
show examples
of medicinal medication.
Therefore
, modern medicine has played a role
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
greater awareness regarding one's
health
. In conclusion,
i
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I
show examples
am in the notion
of
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that
show examples
science
been
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
important in improving one's
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
. It has provided us with equipment for permanent cure of diseases
,
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apply
show examples
and has
also
enlightens
Change the verb form
enlightened
show examples
individuals about the right decisions to consider regarding their
health
.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your essay introduction explicitly states your opinion on the subject, providing a clear thesis statement that guides the reader on your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main paragraphs should each have a clear central topic, which is developed with explanations, examples, and details. Avoid having undeveloped points or ideas within paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your conclusion should reiterate your main points and reflect back on the thesis mentioned in your introduction, providing a summarized perspective on the topic.
Task Achievement
Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences that flesh out the initial claim.
Task Achievement
Include a greater range of vocabulary and complex grammatical structures. This will show your language proficiency and give your essay more depth and clarity.
Task Achievement
Check for grammatical errors and ensure sentence structures are varied and correctly implemented.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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