• Describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • Say what happened the last times you complained • Explain what you want the manager to do.

#rooms #times #manager

Dear Gulchehra A

sports

competition was held at our school, and our

team

won it.

Then

he gave a guide to our

team

, which

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

to go to the next competition. We all gathered strength and went to the

sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

. After we arrived, we prepared with our

team

. After our training, we went to the dressing

room

However

, there are many problems in the dressing

room

that is

, there is no wardrobe, the door is broken,

half

Correct word choice

and half

show examples

of the window is missing. We struggled a lot with our

team

. But we moved quickly to get out of there. After that, we all went to the head of the

sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

, Gulchehra Ergasheva, to complain. We explained the problem to the best of our ability and promised to solve it. But it was not resolved. It was the same again when we went to the dressing

room

. I got angry,

then

I decided to go to the leader myself and went. But they did not open the door, they did not even want to hear. After that,

together with

our

team

Add a comma

team,

show examples

we promised to leave the

sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

and never return. We only ask the manager to repair the dressing

room

in the

sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

. Yours sincerely Mokhinur

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Sat Feb 03 2024

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Task response

To improve task response, ensure your essay directly addresses each point of the given prompt clearly. Structure the essay to have a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion, describing the problem, past complaints, and desired action.

Coherence and cohesion

Develop coherence by ordering your ideas logically. Use connectors to show relationships between ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details.

Coherence and cohesion

For cohesion, work on using cohesive devices (like conjunctions, pronouns, and linking words) to help the reader understand the connection between your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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• Describe what the problem with the changing rooms is • Say what happened the last times you complained • Explain what you want the manager to do.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

1.Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion