The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst profesionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst profesionals in eight groups.

Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.
The two charts illustrate eight variety of professional occupations. The pie chart displays the
stress
level
in each
occupation
in percentage. The bar chart shows each
occupation
's working
hours
per
week
.
To begin
with, the job businessmen have the highest proportion of work in a
week
with an average of 70
hours
.
Next,
there are movie directors with an average 10-hour working
hours
difference. It was followed closely by doctors with less than 60% average working
hours
.
Nonetheless
, the
stress
level
of people in
this
industry is small with approximately 11%, 18%, and 15% respectively.
On the other hand
, three other groups,
such
as writers, programmers, and lawyers are in the middle with an average working
hours
ranging from over 40
hours
to below 40
hours
per
week
.
In contrast
, each
occupation
's
stress
level
is the lowest with an average of 7%.
Finally
, at the bottom, there are chefs and lecturers with 30% and below 30%
hours
per
week
each.
While
the working
hours
of lecturers are the lowest the
stress
level
of
this
occupation
unexpectedly the highest with up to 25% of people experiencing it.
Overall
, there is no correlation between the working
hours
and the
stress
level
of each job.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words stress, level, occupation, hours, week with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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