IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Some people think that the best way to resolve environmental problems is to increase fuel and vehicles’ prices. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #fuel #vehicles’ #prices
Some
people
 argue that
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
prices
Change the noun form
price
show examples
fuel
Change preposition
of fuel
show examples
 and gas
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
 will solve
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 issues, I totally disagree with
this
 statement. Because is not the best way to fix
this
 problem, in
this
 essay I will examine the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 reason which is real action to fix
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems.
To begin
 with, government should provide public transportation which must be proper for all
citezens
Correct your spelling
citizens
.
Then
, encourage
people
 to leave their own car to move to use public transport.
Thus
, we can reduce
utilization
Correct article usage
the utilization
show examples
 of vehicles.
For instance
, in
developed
Add an article
the developed
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
country
Add a comma
country,
show examples
 all
people
 prefer to use
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 or buses for their
mobilisation
Replace the word
mobility
show examples
instead
 of their own private vehicles. Because of that impacted to reduce air pollution in their country. So,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of fuel is not a solution even damaged
sitution
Correct your spelling
situation
with
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
impacted
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
 to
prices
 of basic needs like
rices
Change the wording
rice
kinds of rice
packets of rice
grains of rice
show examples
, meats,
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, clothes and so on.
Secondly
, after
provide
Change the verb form
providing
show examples
 convenient public transportation. We
Makes
Change the verb form
Make
show examples
 them to be
a loyal users
Correct the article-noun agreement
a loyal user
loyal users
show examples
 and we can focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 steps.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
 provide green
site
Fix the agreement mistake
sites
show examples
 in a lot of
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 to reduce pollution,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 building amount of gardens or parks.
While
Correct word choice
People
show examples
people
 take recreation for their leisure time
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
 healthy because they are
active
Change the word
actively
show examples
 movement in green
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
In
show examples
 conclusion,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 disagree with
increase
Replace the word
increasing
show examples
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
prices
Change the noun form
price
show examples
fuel
Change preposition
of fuel
show examples
 vehicles to solve
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 problems. Because it will be impacted
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
prices
Correct article usage
the prices
show examples
 of basic needs like food and clothes.
Only
Add an article
The only
show examples
 reason to fix
that is
make
Change the verb form
to make
making
show examples
 behaviour to loyal
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 public transportation like
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
dan
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 buses and build green
site
Change the noun form
sites
show examples
 like gardens and parks.
thus
, It will reduce air pollution in our city.
Submitted by fiez97 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay should have a clearer logical structure, with defined paragraphs for introduction, main arguments, and conclusion, as well as better use of cohesive devices.
task achievement
Ensure the essay directly addresses the question throughout and maintains a focus on the argument, providing clear and comprehensive ideas.
task achievement
Make sure to introduce the essay with a strong statement of your position and conclude by summarizing the main points of the argument, while restating your position clearly.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support the main points and ensure these examples are relevant to the argument being made.
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