It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
There are a lot of debates regarding whether
people
should stay in their comfort zones or are they
supposed to try something new even with some risks in it. There are many Correct pronoun usage
apply
benefits
of attempts
new Wrong verb form
attempting
experience
. Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
However
, do the advantages are outweigh
Change the verb form
outweigh
disadvantages
will be discussed in Correct article usage
the disadvantages
this
essay.
On the one hand, people
would not be able to determine what is the benefits
of something without actually try
it. Change the form of the verb
trying
Therefore
, it is crucial to have the courage of trying
new Change preposition
to try
experience
because it will lead to Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
benefits
that we do not know it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
exists
. Correct subject-verb agreement
exist
For example
, you can not understand the happiness that come
from teaching others without attempts to teach someone. Because of that, Change the verb form
comes
people
should embrace theirself
and delicately Correct your spelling
themselves
trying
to pursue something new.
Wrong verb form
try
On the other hand
, sometimes, new things
come up with a risk on it. Nevertheless
, we can manage the consequences of such
things
with
being careful in every Change preposition
by
decisions
we take. Change to a singular noun
decision
For instance
, you should carefully decide what kind of shoes you should wear for a ski that will guarantee your safety. This
way, even if you are a first-timer, you can lower the possibility of falling down. Hence
, the disadvantages of trying new things
are worth it compared to the benefits
.
In conclusion, considering that trying something new will give a feelings you never feel before, the benefits
of taking risks are outweigh
the consequences. Change the verb form
outweigh
However
, we should be careful and thoroughly
when Change the word
thorough
decides
to try new Wrong verb form
deciding
things
. The risks can not stop people
of
trying new opportunities.Change preposition
from
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task achievement
Be sure to have a clear thesis statement in your introduction that directly addresses the prompt.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that outline the main idea of each paragraph.
task achievement
Support your ideas with specific examples or evidence to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on ensuring a clear logical progression in your essay by using connectors and transition words appropriately.
language proficiency
Be mindful of grammatical errors and aim to use a range of grammatical structures correctly.
task achievement
Ensure that your conclusion restates your main points and clearly answers the prompt.
task achievement
Refrain from too many general statements; aim for depth rather than breadth in your development of ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?