IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#look #graphics #show #data #people #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
The data illustrates what kind of devices people use under 30
yaer
Correct your spelling
year
years
 old in 2009 and 2019. Two tables are giving 6 subjects that are Mobile phone, Laptop, Tablet etc.
First,
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2009, Conventional
TV
 got the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
 percentage which is 34%,
while
2019
Change preposition
in 2019
show examples
 it is 4%.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage is
Tablet
Fix the agreement mistake
Tablets
show examples
(5%) which is only 3% lower than the Flat-screen
TV
, and it
19
Add a missing verb
was 19
show examples
% in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2019. The
Convetional
Correct your spelling
Conventional
TV
appered
Correct your spelling
appeared
 the most difference
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2009 to 2019, and the subtract data is 30%.
Next,
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2019, most of the
datas
Correct your spelling
data
 are above 10% except
Conventional
Change preposition
for Conventional
show examples
TV
. 27% and 26% were the highest
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 which are Flat-screen
TV
Fix the agreement mistake
TVs
show examples
 and Mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 each.
Also
, Conventional
TV
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 value which is 4%
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 I wrote above.
Moreover
, there are two same value: 12%, which are Desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 and
Laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
Laptops
show examples
. The least difference between 2009 and 2019 was Desktop
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had only
6
Correct article usage
a 6
show examples
% gap.
Submitted by chwkmkmn on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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