Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

#look #graphics #show #data #people #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes

The data illustrates what kind of devices people use under 30

yaer

Correct your spelling

year

years

old in 2009 and 2019. Two tables are giving 6 subjects that are Mobile phone, Laptop, Tablet etc.

First,

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2009, Conventional

got the

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

percentage which is 34%,

while

2019

Change preposition

in 2019

show examples

it is 4%.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

percentage is

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

(5%) which is only 3% lower than the Flat-screen

, and it

Add a missing verb

was 19

show examples

% in

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2019. The

Convetional

Correct your spelling

Conventional

appered

Correct your spelling

appeared

the most difference

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

2009 to 2019, and the subtract data is 30%.

Next,

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2019, most of the

datas

Correct your spelling

data

are above 10% except

Conventional

Change preposition

for Conventional

show examples

. 27% and 26% were the highest

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

which are Flat-screen

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

each.

Also

, Conventional

Verb problem

has

show examples

the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

value which is 4%

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

I wrote above.

Moreover

, there are two same value: 12%, which are Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

Laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

Laptops

show examples

. The least difference between 2009 and 2019 was Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

had only

Correct article usage

a 6

show examples

% gap.

Submitted by chwkmkmn on Sun Feb 04 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

157 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

In today's world many people own a smartphone . Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people believe that wild animals should not be kept in zoos or other man-made environments as there is no longer a need for them in the 21st century. Do you agree or disagree?

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend