Take a look at the graphics and complete the task. The table and chart show data about reading among people under 30 years old. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#look #graphics #show #data #people #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The data illustrates what kind of devices people use under 30

yaer

Correct your spelling

year

years

old in 2009 and 2019. Two tables are giving 6 subjects that are Mobile phone, Laptop, Tablet etc.

First,

Linking Words

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2009, Conventional

Use synonyms

got the

most

Correct word choice

highest

show examples

percentage which is 34%,

while

Linking Words

2019

Change preposition

in 2019

show examples

it is 4%.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

show examples

the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

percentage is

Tablet

Fix the agreement mistake

Tablets

show examples

(5%) which is only 3% lower than the Flat-screen

Use synonyms

, and it

Add a missing verb

was 19

show examples

% in

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2019. The

Convetional

Correct your spelling

Conventional

Use synonyms

appered

Correct your spelling

appeared

the most difference

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

2009 to 2019, and the subtract data is 30%.

Next,

Linking Words

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

2019, most of the

datas

Correct your spelling

data

are above 10% except

Conventional

Change preposition

for Conventional

show examples

Use synonyms

. 27% and 26% were the highest

percentage

Fix the agreement mistake

percentages

show examples

which are Flat-screen

Use synonyms

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

and Mobile

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

each.

Also

Linking Words

, Conventional

Use synonyms

Verb problem

has

show examples

the

least

Correct word choice

lowest

show examples

value which is 4%

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

I wrote above.

Moreover

Linking Words

, there are two same value: 12%, which are Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

and

Laptop

Fix the agreement mistake

Laptops

show examples

. The least difference between 2009 and 2019 was Desktop

computer

Fix the agreement mistake

computers

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

had only

Correct article usage

a 6

show examples

% gap.

Submitted by chwkmkmn on Sun Feb 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Introduction: The introduction is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.

▼

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

157 words

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It is commonly said that today's children are facing huge challenges. This essay indent to discuss the causes of these pressures and give some suggestions to solve them.

Rich countries often give money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore, developed countries should give other types of help to the poor countries rather than financial aid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some people say that living in a high-rise apartment block is a lonely experience because there is no community spirit. Others say that people who live in high-rise apartments have a much better sense of community than those live in houses. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.