IT IS GENERALLY ACCEPTED THAT EXERCISE IS GOOD FOR CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS. THERFORE, PHYSICAL EDUCATION AND SPORT SHOULD BE COMPULSORY FOR ALL STUDENTS IN ALL SCHOOLS. WHAT DO YOU THINK ?

In recent years, exercise has become
popular
Correct article usage
a popular
show examples
activity
due to
owing lot of benefits
such
as better
pysical
Correct your spelling
physical
figure and mental health.
Therefore
, whether schools should compulse all
students
to attend PE
class
has been a heated topic. In my opinion, I believe that
students
should all attend
thier
Correct your spelling
their
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports classes
show examples
class
in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
because it can help them release pressure, build muscle, and enhance
Correct pronoun usage
their relationship
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
with classmates. It is undeniable that some pupils aren't good at
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
and
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
willing to join the
sport
class
.
However
, the main goal of PE
class
is not
compete
Fix the infinitive
to compete
show examples
with your classmates.
Instead
,
this
may help you boost your
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
skills by watching people who are proficient in the sports.
For example
, you can learn how to play basketball
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
playing with a better player.
Additionally
, physical
eudaction
Correct your spelling
education
can help
students
release
thier
Correct your spelling
their
pressure, which has been proved by many studies. A modest exercise can provide
students
a more steady mental health, helping
students
focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
Moreover
,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
play a pivotal role in teaching
students
how to work together. To be more specific, many
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
need to
play
Wrong verb form
be played
show examples
in a group, which means
students
should be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
member
Fix the agreement mistake
members
show examples
of the group.
This
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
students
improve
thier
Correct your spelling
their
communication skills,
collaberate
Correct your spelling
collaborate
with teammates and figure out the best solution for the team. In conclusion,
Although
some people disagree with the statement that all
students
should join the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
activities
in schools, I believe that attending PE
class
is beneficial for all
students
.
Submitted by golden0313b on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that all parts of the question are fully addressed with clear, comprehensive ideas. Expand your discussion with more specific, relevant examples to support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your essay. Ideas should be better organised and paragraphs should connect with clear transitions. Work on varying your sentence structures for improved readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical Education (PE)
  • cardiovascular health
  • muscle strength
  • obesity
  • teamwork
  • cooperation
  • communication
  • leadership
  • academic performance
  • cognitive functions
  • lifelong wellness
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • compulsory
  • socioeconomic background
  • mandatory
  • inclusive
  • beneficial
  • holistic development
  • stress
  • extracurricular activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: