Some claim that studying Kulchanut Sureerattananas great benefits for a student’s home country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

Nowadays, there are several kinds of education that people can make a choice
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since the
keen
Replace the word
keenness
show examples
of
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
remains
never ending
Add a hyphen
never-ending
show examples
. There are many parents
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
to send their
children
to study in
Correct article usage
a
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
foreign
country
as they believe that it provides greater advantages compared to their own
country
. To my mind, I totally agree with
this
statement
as
Change preposition
for
show examples
the following reasons. One of the clearest things is that
children
who
taking
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
overseas courses can have a
chance
to develop themselves.
Firstly
, they can expand
the
Change the word
their
show examples
knowledge as our societies have many things to find out, the education is not just only stuck in a classroom.
Moreover
, the diversity of
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
can teach them new things that they have never faced before. Not only the
fundamental
Fix the agreement mistake
fundamentals
show examples
of
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
that they could gain but
also
, they will have a
chance
to practice living on their own without parents.
While
staying in the
country
, students could be spoiled by their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
and even get used to the environment, learning in other countries
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
adaptability and management skills. They will grow up rapidly and can take care of themselves.
In addition
, studying
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
could lend the opportunity to meet
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of people.
For example
,
children
who taking master’s
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
foreign countries could have lots of
foreigner
Replace the word
foreign
show examples
friends, maybe they come from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
different countries.
This
provides a great connection for the future career, whether they could become co-workers or business partners.
Furthermore
, as the world
run
Change the verb form
runs
show examples
with the communication that
required
Wrong verb form
requires
show examples
international language speakers,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
learning could provide the second or third language skills
stimulations
Fix the agreement mistake
stimulation
show examples
.
Children
will be able to speak English or even Spanish, France which are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial languages in the
worldwide
Replace the word
world
show examples
. They will have more
chance
to improve their working position. In summary, studying in
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
could be easier for
children
as they remain in the same environment and use their
mother
Change noun form
mother's
show examples
togue
Correct your spelling
tongue
show examples
, whilst learning
out
Change preposition
outside
show examples
of
hometown
Correct pronoun usage
their hometown
show examples
will develop
children
’s capacities both in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
and living
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
.
Moreover
, they could receive
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excellent
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
and a
chance
to improve their
approaching
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
career path. Foreigners
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Ensure to address all parts of the task and present a clear opinion throughout the essay. Avoid shifting focus or mixing different ideas without clear connections.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and better illustrate your views.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical sequence of ideas. Use linking words and phrases to connect ideas and paragraphs effectively.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your opinion. Make sure the introduction and conclusion are distinct and contain no new arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provide adequate support for it. Develop your paragraphs with explanations, examples, and details relevant to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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